You Know You’re a Loser When
You Know You’re a Loser When …
You get caught shoplifting in a £1 shop !
I’d thought I’d seen most things but today was something else - seeing someone carted off for stealing things in a store where nothings costs more than £1.
The offending youth should be locked away for life - no parole !
Not for his crime but for lack of imagination and ambition - a bona fide Loser !
I’ve always thought the world was basically made up of two types of people …
winners and losers
those that succeed and those that fail, obviously success and failure work on different levels but the basic principal is clear.
I have another definition as well as to what sets people apart.
Those with Bart Simpson fleece blankets and those without !
Naturally, being an important local dignitary I fall into the former category and revel in the luxury of a Bart Simpson blanket.
I suppose I should feel sorry for those sans said blanket, the under-privileged if you will - but no - I don’t - it’s a cruel world.
There is something called the Darwin Awards which I intend to delve into, it should provide some gems for another post.
If you’ve any instances of complete stupidity or lack of wit share them with us
All the best
Rod
PS: For those wondering what I was doing in a Everything’s a Pound shop I was not indulging myself in my sporadic, and aforementioned, hobby of asking the girls in there “how much is this” or “do you sell plasma TVs” !
I was actually looking to purchase disposable napkins - after standing in the queue at my usual suppliers only to lose my patience, dump the napkins and walk out !
The result is I couldn’t get any, nor any in Sainsbury’s - so add me to the list of losers
No Patience = No Napkins
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 26, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
Rod,
The Witches are fond of the Simpson’s scripts and often allow ourselves a chortle… but a Bart blanket is bordering on the obsessional
Despite your limpet like attachment to Grimsby isn’t it time to admit that you are a square peg in a round hole? Or, instead of grumbling all the time, tell us some of the good things about living in the area.
Perhaps it’s time for you to escalate to the heady heights of owning a washable linen napkin?
WoE
Rod said,
January 26, 2008 @ 5:17 pm
WoE
my Bart blanket is perhaps my finest possession and entirely in keeping with my persona
My presence in Grimsby is perhaps the town’s most notable asset
I’ve travelled the length and breadth of the country and each have found myself in exactly the same square peg situation as I am here just in another location.
I’m also something of a square peg in the middle-east it seems - full details in tomorrow
I’ll pass on the listeria rags, otherwise known as linen napkins, if you don’t mind.
Their akin to hankerchiefs (which should only be worn in the top pocket of one’s jacket !)
Are you trying to poison me with your bug spreading suggestions
Regards
Rodent
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 26, 2008 @ 6:14 pm
Rod,
Yes, we have come to the same conclusions… you are positively the squariest, peggiest, peg this side of the moon … we at the Coven salute you
We shall acknowledge Sunday by taking coffee and a leisurely glance at your involvement with the Middle East ~ since we have worked jolly hard on the exterior masonry today, we’re due a treat!
Linen napkins then… are you getting your textiles muddled up? Linen, dear boy, if good quality, can be boiled in the cauldron. Tell us please that any disposable examples that enter LCG are not made of that scratchy grease proof stuff so reminiscent of post war lavatory paper
Good health,
WoE
Rod said,
January 26, 2008 @ 6:55 pm
WoE
I knew if I waited long enough I’d find something I really excel at - even if it is being a square peg.
Congratulations on a solid days work - I salute you and offer my prayers and thanks to His Holiness Paul Gilbert that I am free from the burden that is DIY !
As to these linen botchelism rags - I’m fully aware of what linen napkins are and how to wash them but I’m not going to wash 3 a day which is what my standards of personal hygiene would demand.
I’m also aware that those who use them do not sanitize them after each use - hence the microbe issue ~ shudder
Regards
Sanitized Rod
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 27, 2008 @ 10:48 am
Rod,
Pushing our masonry efforts to one side (and isn’t it just the Pamela Anderson of all yards… difficult to know how it stands up and looking a bit rough round the edges, but will no doubt attract a crowd
) … we are stunned to hear that you are a three napkin a day man, sets you apart from the kitchen roll wipers! Man of your standing in the community ought to have linen, possible six or nine…. monogrammed of course.
WoE
Rod said,
January 27, 2008 @ 3:21 pm
WoE
I’ll now allow your jibees at Pammy as my affections have switched to the lovely Ashley Lawrence
As to my standards, I’m nothing if not civilized
RC
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 27, 2008 @ 3:54 pm
Rod,
We wouldn’t want an Ashley Lawrence of a yard… it would look too masculine
The builders looked at us sideways when we asked for a Colin Firth of a back yard… ‘fraid not madam, what we’re lookin’ at ‘ere is more of a Pammie, in need of constant work, looking cheap but costin’ a fortune’ 
In feminine terms how would you describe your own back garden?
WoE
Rod said,
January 27, 2008 @ 5:45 pm
WoE
In feminine terms how would you describe your own back garden?
I’ll avoid naming anyone or any genre of women
but …
Looks better from a distance than close up, needs constant upkeep, still does the job though but not quite what it was nor indeed could be with more effort
Rod