Women Should Not Speak at Dinner Parties
If you want to be a successful and popular guest at a dinner party, tell your woman to shut up !
A guest editorial by The Coxeman.
Bonsoir mes amis - Rod Damon here with another guest column
We all know women are commonplace when socializing at dinner parties, you pretty much have to take one along, especially if you are unlucky enough to be married. The problem, as all men know, they are prone to talking !
This is nothing new, it’s a scientific fact that women genetically prattle on 4 times more than men. Because it’s usually trivia or nonsense they are largely ignored - so what’s the problem you ask ? Nothing new in ignoring a nagging woman.
Well …
Once again I bring you cutting edge scientific research results:
A panel of 50 women and only 45 men were shown films of couples at a function or dinner party.
They were not arguing as such just bickering away, obviously a socially unattractive thing to do.
Here is the interesting part, both the men and the women watching the tapes agreed that when the man had the upper hand and was telling the girl what’s what they liked the couple and would want to be friends with them.
When the roles were reversed and the women, who clearly have forgotten their place or were badly trained, were seen to be getting one over on the man both sexes agreed they appeared an unpleasant and unattractive couple and would not want to mix with them !
The women who took part in the research felt, after being scrutinized, that it made the man look less competent and reflected badly on them as a couple. Showing just how dominant the male still is in a relationship.
The female psychologist was somewhat dismayed at the results, especially as her panel was already skewed with a female bias.
 It’s disheartening, gender roles often influence how we see events without our realising it  |
This seems pretty clear then fellas, get your woman to keep a lid on it when you take her out. Failure to do so may lead to you being socially ostracized.
Ideally, women will take this on board themselves and not need to be told but that’s a long shot - I suspect you’ll have to be firm.
So you round up:
Men:
You now know what to do, keep a tight rein on the little woman. She might baulk at first, especially if you’ve not been firm enough with her in the past, but it’s for the best and will ultimately improve her as a woman as well as giving you a bit of peace.
Women:
The best thing to do is not to try and initiate or take part in real conversation, nod and smile, look pretty and answer questions briefly should they be put to you, laugh at your man’s jokes etc and generally be a good companion.
If you feel your natural urge to gas away overwhelming you then it’s best done only in the company of other women, out the way, so you can chat about soap operas and the woman down the roads horrible new carpet ad nauseam.
I hope this helps you all avoid making a social faux pas during the looming festive party season.
Keep it Up !
The Coxeman
Witches of Eastwick said,
December 2, 2007 @ 10:05 pm
Coxey,
Couldn’t agree more, trouble is finding a mortal man with enough conversation let alone good quality. We witches are a fortunate bunch though, we have located a rare chatty group of these wild creatures in their natural habitat thankfully a million miles away from a football pitch
With the festive season upon us ladies, make sure it’s not always you who’s doing all the driving!
WoE
The Coxeman said,
December 3, 2007 @ 9:01 am
WoE
trouble is finding a mortal man with enough conversation
With women talking 4 times as much as men, scientific evidence again, perhaps they can’t get a word in !
With the festive season upon us ladies, make sure it’s not always you who’s doing all the driving!
I’m glad we’ve found something we agree upon, you’re absolutely right of course …
Men do not let women drive your car !
Keep it Up !
The Coxeman
Witches of Eastwick said,
December 3, 2007 @ 12:53 pm
Coxey,
Talking more than the average male is a noted part of the evolutionary ladder lifting women higher in every sense above the poor conversationally challenged male. The Coven have noticed recently during ongoing works that the men concerned are only too happy to stop and engage in conversation while holding a slab of bread pudding and a mug of steaming tea. We are glad to announce that we know very few average men …. those we do know could be bracketed into eccentric, skilled, polished, deft and book dealers
WoE
The Coxeman said,
December 3, 2007 @ 3:23 pm
Woe
part of the evolutionary ladder lifting women higher
Rod Damon - Soothsayer !
Femme Fatale said,
December 3, 2007 @ 6:36 pm
WoE,
Leave the men at home, ironing and go out on your own.
You will have a much better time
FF
xx
Witches of Eastwick said,
December 3, 2007 @ 6:45 pm
FF,
Amen to that!
WoE
Rod said,
December 3, 2007 @ 7:03 pm
FF
not only will you have a better time you’ll come home to find the ironing done properly, probably for the first time
RC
The Coxeman said,
December 3, 2007 @ 7:05 pm
What’s ironing ?
Is it something blacksmiths do ??
Keep it Up !
The Coxeman
Witches of Eastwick said,
December 3, 2007 @ 7:12 pm
Mr Damon,
In our latest book, the Orange of Species and Natural Selection Box (only the very best quality chocolate
) we shall set out to discuss pros and cons of maleness and other forms of madness. We warned ‘em, we said Adam looks like trouble, all poor old Eve wanted was a decent apple crumble - the rest is alas history. Anyway we mustn’t dwell on the past, let’s work with what we’ve got, said the actress to the bishop ….
WoE
The Coxeman said,
December 4, 2007 @ 8:41 am
WoE
You’re dafter than I am
If you care for your sanity - stop now !
If not then …
Please Do Keep it Up !
The Coxeman