There’s much your brother could learn from you and your social graces. Do you think it’s too late for him? We’ll ask the Rev if he can be saved

Stick with the lillies - mine are looking dazzling as usual.

WoE

p.s. still taking GQ?

I don’t need to sweeten my Mother up - she has to like me it’s the rules
As to other women the fragrant bouquet of my personality shold suffice

What’s wrong with you man, get into a florist and buy some flowers (or a plant, not a venus fly trap though) for your Mother and the long suffering women in your life. Perhaps it might strike a cord with you when we point out that’s it’s calorie free!

WoE

… and don’t give us the old ‘value for money’ thing

Save your prayers for more deserving souls. The witches have dipped their toe into life’s artistic river and we can report the waters were warm and abundant with life … mankind were just dragging themselves up onto land, womankind had already found Harvey Nicks and were long gone

See you next sunday for confessional … there won’t be much time after we ‘hear’ the Coxeman’s revelations so bring a sandwich and a flask!

WoE

What do you mean started ?
The ones I’ve known have always bought their own flowers
Best
RC (ignorant as to what florists do)

I sense an artistic bent in you from the way you write - I do hope this is not true my child ?
Little in the world is more sinful than wishing to lead an artistic life.
The sin and vanity of gazing at apprent beautiful objects you or others have created is a sure-fire route to hell !
Only things created by The Almighty should be gazed upon adoringly !

You Have Been Warned
Rev. M. Aural Ayegrownd

Please tell me you do not drink or listen to Rock Music !
I am also concerned at your mentions of sex and single people.
I hope everyone out there is saving themselves for their marriage day !

Ohhhhhh the sheer depravity of it all

Repent Now
Rev. M. Aural Ayegrownd

Have we met before? Our crystal ball keeps showing tinned fruit salad - you always were a cheap date

Female monkeys then, we doubt any exchange of fruit would be necessary. In the pheromone-charged atmosphere of the jungle (or nightclub) the traditional bunch of flowers has been superseded by the element of surprise. If, by chance he is holding a banana, she probably won’t say no and can you blame her? Now, in human society, woman have started to buy their own flowers which should be a wake-up call for all men … well those in the floristry business anyway! The art of seduction has evolved from the fruit bowl to clever words we suspect, although probably not in Grimsby but you’ll have to ask RC about that. We’re sure the womenfolk of Lincolnshire for a start, lament the passing of the days when all one needed to do was wear a flouncy skirt and carry a pocket full of plums.

So Rev, you’ve been defrocked have you? Lucky you … the witches thought their time was up when some nice customs men came onboard our luxury liner. Sadly they were only interested in passports, we were obviously a day late and an apple short as they say

WoE

p.s. we’ll take your advice and dress like Carmen Miranda next time …