Why Can’t Women Park Cars ?
Afternoon Idlers Coxeman here !
The site owner has been begging me to return and write guest articles for him but frankly I’ve had bigger fish to fry.
However, whilst reading my freshly pressed paper, my valet irons it for me every morning, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this
How not to do a 3 point turn
The house you see on the left is owned, of course, by a man. He was sleeping quite fitfully in bed and naturally had no concerns for the safety of his Chrysler Neon as he’d parked it safely off the road in his driveway.
Little did he know however that a woman in a Mercedes was about to perform a 3 point turn in the street outside his house.
The picture above shows the results - she shot into his drive and ended up on top of his car !!
Quite clearly the act of turning a car to face the other way in a quiet suburban street was too much for the female motorist as is driving in general it has to be said.
Call me old fashioned but I never thought it the wisest of policies to grant women driving licences and once again here is proof positive - my opinions are never wrong.
Now before any feminists out there try to lynch me I also bring you scientific proof that women simply cannot park cars.
I do not simply rant incoherently !
Extensive testing showed conclusively that when tested against each other men were vastly superior at parallel parking in comparison to women - most of the ladies were actually unable to get the vehicle in a tight spot.
Interestingly, some women did really quite well, albeit very few, non-the-less they did it.
But, and here’s the crunch, when tested, those women were all found to have abnormally high levels of testosterone !!
I will yield to one point in which women are better motorists than men — they have the ability to multi-task whilst driving - applying make up, brushing their hair or looking at themselves in the mirror !
Never let it be said I’m not even handed !
So gentlemen, do the decent thing for the little lady in your life, if you’ve bought her a car and she insists on using it at least have the decency to park it for her and whatever you do don’t let her attempt advanced driving manoeuvres like 3 point turns !
I shall be back - sooner than you think - so tune in for more plain talking and commonsense
Keep it Up !
The Coxeman
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 17, 2009 @ 9:32 pm
Dear Coxey
So you’re back from global philandering only to inform us that men should be buying their women cars…. strange because we were under the impression that women usually bought their own. Where and how they park them depends on many things, like mood and buzzy electrical warning systems. In our view you’ve got to have both… and a man to change a tyre perhaps, we always keep a spare in the boot and an extra tyre as well
Although it pains us to admit it, we’ve missed you…. just look at the senseless drivel we’ve been subjected to over the past few months, positively dire! Still, you’re back now, a real life manly, unashamedly chauvinistic target to have a go at.
WoE
p.s. we’ve recently attached a power washer to our broomstick for added speed….. which is fantastic except the hose is limiting our choice of destination at present. You may scoff but airborne fluvial travel is a thing of the future…
The Coxeman said,
January 18, 2009 @ 8:59 am
WoE
I am indeed back, fully refreshed and positively bursting with rude health !
only to inform us that men should be buying their women cars
I’m certainly not encouraging that, quite the reverse, if you’ll forgive the pun.
strange because we were under the impression that women usually bought their own
Very rarely, certainly not if it’s a good one !
Keep tuning in for more shoot-from-the-hip opinions !
Keep it Up !
The Coxeman