We shall be reporting on the pond life of WW to those in far flung places in the hope that it will make up for the appalling weather. Nice to know we can always rely on you to slip on life’s proverbial banana skin from time to time … we suggest you never take on any roofing jobs as our crystal ball observations are not rosy!

Ask yourself at every opportunity what Ray Mears would do in your circumstances (incidentally if we find out that RM is frequently hit by low flying golf balls and planks of wood etc., we shall lose what little faith we had in the mortal male!).

‘Twill be some time before we meet again so please wrap up warm, carry no sharp implements and always look before you cross the road … less there be a drain hole cover missing

WoE

Good luck with the Most Glamorous Gait Contes - you should ‘walk it’
Best
RC

Oh how we wish we’d witnessed the pond incident … with a Goon Show cry of “he’s fallen in the water”, what joy! Now, the Witches have a very poor record against molluscs as our hostas prove but the saucy old sorceresses that we are, we have disguised our legumes amoung the jungly undergrowth. No doubt your plantation must seem like the Waitrose of slimeville ….. does the beer in a submerged glass really work? If it helps Rod, we feel the same way about this plague and were especially pleased to see the Coven toad out and about recently … not that he was particularly pleased to see us as the last time we met he looked suspiciously like last years Most Glamorous Gait winner

WoE … in with a chance this year!!

For everyone’s amusement
You’ll be amused to hear that whilst out slug hunting at 12.30am last night I saw a slug on one of my broccoli plants. It was tricky to get to so I stood on the side of my … weed filled pond !
Balancing somewhat precariously in a crouched position I managed to get said villain but lost my balance and fell backwards into the pond
Clothing was dumped in the washing machine and, having no hot water in the tank, had a cold bath
Best
RC - shaking his head

We’re beginning to suspect that you buy trousers (slacks/jeans/flannels) on a daily basis ….. take it your man servant post has yet to be filled, necessitating such drastic action?

Anyway can’t talk now …. my thighs are overdue their daily lateral workout in the Coven gym in readiness for the Tuesday Club sprint challenge. We plan to stuff you with a slab of gougere and tie your laces together …. other than that, every dirty trick in the book will be employed to ensure fair play. Let us know if you are struggling to find appropriate shorts

WoE

WoE
Fear not I have not “let myself go” and exploded into a size 12 !
Just a variance from manufacturers - these are Firetrap retail at £65 but
sold for £19.99 to the man with the toned torso and long legs

LB
I’d have thought about a holiday after having a BMW mot’d and serviced personally