We Are All Inherently Sexist By Nature
Even in these more enlightened and fairer times We Are All Inherently Sexist By Nature
When I say sexist in this case I don’t mean overtly but subliminally if you like.
I also don’t mean just men biased against women - the ladies are as well.
I don’t mean this be be about equal pay and the like, much has been done to end many forms of discrimination in this and other areas - I’m talking about how we actually think
How We Judge Women Differently to Men
To test this out I want you to visualize a person based on a word:
Bachelor
Now Another:
Spinster
Both words have exactly the same meaning but both conjure up very different images - even amongst the most enlightened men and women !
Women are also under greater social pressure when it comes to relationships and marriage, especially once passed, let’s say, the 30 year old mark.
The fact that I live on my own is generally presumed to be because I don’t want to get married or live with somebody.
If I were a women in the same position most would think that nobody wants to marry me.
-
I live the great and free life of a bachelor
A women has been ‘left on the shelf’
Whilst I am the last person to be politically correct I think these preconceived images are more serious than overt sexism.
The reason being, as with racism, few hold extreme views but many are subliminally influenced, so women will never be treated as truly equal to men until it is done so without a thought.
Men and women are not the same, I think many waste their time trying to prove they are.
That time would be better spent celebrating our differences.
One thing is for sure - we still have a sexist attitude to women - and it’s not just men who are guilty women are too !
I’ve particularly only used one example so as to open the post up for other examples of implied sexism, if you can think of any others or have any opinion either way - share it with us
Regards
Rod
the dinosaur said,
April 9, 2008 @ 12:05 am
Rod, I agree with everything you say but isn’t it true that our prejudices are unavoidable, because we are aware of and may have grown up with historically different attitudes, it takes the passing of at least one generation for a new way of thinking to become established as indisputably right, in time we can’t even understand the previous generation and their way of thinking? The example you give of the batchelor/spinster terms is right, they are unfortunate because of their historic implications but surely its also about women having a much shorter time span to have children than men and 30 is a landmark that puts pressure on a woman if she wants to be a mother, whereas a man hardly gives it a thought, at least until he’s in his 40’s ?
Rod said,
April 9, 2008 @ 7:32 am
Dino
it’s a good point, I guess true change does come with new generations.
It could be that we are in for a real reversal eventually as I understand boys are feeling ever greater pressure from girls at school, higher education and then the first foray into the job market because many young girls are doing better than their male counterparts.
Like the last line
Jordan said,
April 9, 2008 @ 8:25 am
Good post RC
You also have the age old sexist remarks about sexual partners.
If a woman ’sleeps’ around she is branded a ’slapper’, ‘tart’ etc.
If a man ’sleeps’ around, he is ‘Jack the Lad’
Why is this?
Why is it alright for a man to have 100’s of sexual partners but not a woman?
As the saying goes, “Everyone wants to marry a virgin but noone wants to date one?” This saying is also aimed at women.
Jordan
Rod said,
April 9, 2008 @ 9:18 am
Jordan
that too is a prime example of double standards.
It also relates nicely to the implied and sub-conscious theme I mentioned.
Statistically, when you do surveys about the number of sexual partners men tend to exagerate the number and women tend reduce the total.
Even if it’s not many they clearly feel the need to do so.
I suspect the modern ladette culture may be changing some of this but it’s still unquestionably there
Cheers
Rod
Witches of Eastwick said,
April 9, 2008 @ 9:23 am
Rod,
To take your point about a woman possibly being seen as ‘left on the shelf’… interestingly we know of none in our acquaintance. They were all on the shelf at one stage, some found the construction a bit dodgy so they got off, closely followed by the china
The word ’spinster’ conjures up an image of an elderly woman from the past.
Recently we overheard the plaintive cry of a woman calling out that dinner was ready… a man was heard to shout ‘do you expect me to stop what I’m doing?’…. answer, ‘yes, I had to stop what I was doing to make it’! All of which goes to show that while both parties may be working full time these days, old roles sometimes die hard.
Until 50% of fathers stay at home to look after their children, we don’t see things changing any day soon.
WoE
Witches of Eastwick said,
April 9, 2008 @ 9:47 am
Jordan,
Never a truer word spoken…. recently we put this very point to a gathering of women whose ages varied as did marital status etc…. so a mixed bunch you might say. The answer came back loud and clear that no one was interested in a man who’d had hundreds of sexual partners… not even if he was gorgeous and rich. We were expecting a debate but there was none… it was noteworthy as a subject where everyone agreed which rarely happens within the Coven walls. Truth to say we don’t know of any woman who has had hundreds of sexual partners but if we did, we would wonder at how she managed it with all the other time consuming elements of female life
As Witches who have to occasionally advise young witchlings about the world and its ways…. the tricky subject of how to dress often arises. We tell them a judge was famously heard to say in a court room ‘that a woman should be able to dress as she pleases without the threat of unwanted sexual advances’… and we fully agree but nature has other ideas and since we live in the real world there are always consequences. We also add that fat old Witches can get away with what they want on the whole
WoE
Rod said,
April 9, 2008 @ 10:08 am
WoE
my ideas for this were based more on what is subconsciously ingrained in our minds.
Not so much what we deliberate about or indeed manifest in our actions or the acts of individuals.
It’s those small, simple and subtle things which truly show there is still this attitude among most of us.
I see it too with the US Presidential Candidates. Note Hilary Clinton could potentially be
the first woman president.
The same principal applies to race, Obama the first black president.
I understand the historic importance of this but still we feel the need to tag somebody in such a way - which means there’s still a long way to go.
I saw a headline the other day which stated …
Openly gay MP …
The subject was about finance matters, other contributors were not prefixed by
openly heterosexual MP !
Rod
Jordan said,
April 9, 2008 @ 1:22 pm
WoE
I concur!
RC can be at times very sexist in his posts and comments, but with him being asexual, he must be split in his ‘chick jeans’ (probably literally) as to what side he wants to take.
Jordan
Rod said,
April 9, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
Jordan
I thought I was fairness personified
As to what side I take, ideally the one that’ll do me most good
RC
Rod said,
April 9, 2008 @ 2:32 pm
Comment time 1 hour plus correction test
Witches of Eastwick said,
April 9, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
Rod,
Your point about the subconscious…. it’s so in your face the difference between the sexes that we fail to see how any of it can be subconscious, depends which way you look at it with regard to basic programming.
We do have female friends who have held down what would be considered traditionally male jobs… because it’s still a relatively new concept (re Dino’s comment about generations) they no doubt attract sexist comments. What of a man working in a traditionally female world or a ’stay at home’ Dad who has to face a sea of women at a toddler group? Until something becomes the norm, it will stick out and attract comment …. very much like our latest hippy outfit which thankfully should fall under the male roving eye radar, but due to its sheer fabric will be worn over a boiler suit
In answer to your initial question… yes, most people are sexist but is it inherent? In the beginning when we were living in trees was it present then? The need to survive would dictate that women could hunt as well as have children and in some societies were the hut builders too. In short then it depends in what society and at what time you live that dictates widely accepted gender norms.
WoE
Rod said,
April 9, 2008 @ 6:07 pm
WoE
the point I am trying to make is not about the obvious stuff as such that, as you say, is all around us. I believe we all carry preconceptions that are there in our subconscious we don’t think about them or believe ourselves to be sexist or racist etc.
’stay at home’ Dad who has to face a sea of women at a toddler group? Until something becomes the norm, it will stick out and attract comment
I don’t things have to be the norm as such, in the case you mention above there will always be more women looking after children than men I suspect. What we should look for is the point when it is not worthy of mention.
It goes back to the original point, our preconceived notion is that the mother should be at home and the father is the breadwinner.
Increasingly today the woman can be earning much more than her partner - we all know this but don’t generally consider it when making assumptions.
Best
RC
Witches of Eastwick said,
April 9, 2008 @ 7:45 pm
Rod,
our preconceived notion is that the mother should be at home and the father is the breadwinner … not in the case of the seahorse
I believe we all carry preconceptions that are there in our subconscious … we do and they are society driven, crammed into us from birth…. it would be just your luck to stumble upon a tribe who believe all men caught wearing chick jeans should be publicly flogged
Increasingly today the woman can be earning much more than her partner - we all know this but don’t generally consider it when making assumptions. …. the rule here should be don’t make assumptions.
Someone in the Coven (who will remain nameless) was caught assuming that …. ‘men wearing pink shirts either bat for the other side or are German’! Quite how deep in the subconscious this notion lies is up for debate but we imagine it was placed there somewhere in the shallows
Freud’s theories about the subconscious and the unconscious mind are enough to send the Witches to the latter state so we won’t dwell on those for now …
WoE