Things People Say to Me

February 24, 2007 at 2:01 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

Here is a list of just some of the things people have said to me and asked me in the last 24 hours

In person

You’re looking fit and slim !

Do you want to go ice skating ?

You’re starting to look your age !

No I’m sorry nobody wears that size

I wouldn’t do this just for anyone !

I’m sorry I don’t think I can take those

Watch this !

Are you courting ?

Is that a fake ?

It won’t take long !

etc etc etc

Via Phone or Email

All I want is some advice about my e bay auctions - phone

Do I want a Vernon Warren book club edition for £65 - email

If you value this list of books I may consider selling them to you - email

Can I list my books on your website - phone

The price of your books is ridiculous - email

You should make sure you blog something every day - email

Worried you don’t measure up to other men ? - email

You pages on ……….com have been removed as they contravine our guidelines

etc etc a million times over !

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11 Comments

Witches of Eastwick said,

February 24, 2007 @ 3:01 pm

Rod,

Here are some of the things that have been said to us over the past few hours:

1. I’m depressed
2. The floor needs cillit bang
3. One egg or two?
4. I’ll just explain how my new invention should work …..
5. Cheri you look gorgeous today, move in with me ! (Bet you know who)
6. You stand behind it while I hammer out the dents
7. One day my music might be famous
8. Are you on that blog again?

WoE

p.s. ah well, best get on with the cillit banging, no rest for the Witches!
A Retired Bookdealer said,

February 24, 2007 @ 3:24 pm

The floor needs cillit bang
Hello WoE,
Is that cillit bang any good, seen it advertised on the TV, often wondered whether or not to give it a go.

ARB.
Our Man in the Kitchen said,

February 24, 2007 @ 3:28 pm

Rod,
Here’s a couple;
“Have you had time to write the Christmas menus yet?”
“Sorry, We’re out of stock-do you need them?”-”No-I just thought I’d ask”
“They’re out of date but we can do a good price on them”
Reception:”Your interview is here”
Me: “It’s tomorrow:
Reception: “He says he can’t do tomorrow so it will have to be today”
Me: “Wish him luck with his future career”
Sales Rep: “Do you like our new price list?”
Me: “No”
Rep: “What about the photographs?”
Me: “What about the prices-there aren’t any”

I could go on.
A Retired Bookdealer said,

February 24, 2007 @ 3:42 pm

Hello All,
The one that always gets me is

“Hello my name is —— and I am calling from —– bank”,
Can you please verify you are the account holder ?.
Reply - No”
Why not Sir ?,
Reply - Your the one with the details on the computer, you verify it with me,
“Sorry Sir we are unable to do that for security reasons”
Reply - Well what about my security - plus I did not ask you to contact me - Bye !
Witches of Eastwick said,

February 24, 2007 @ 5:30 pm

ARB,

The coven certainly gets through its fair share of cleaning products, one glance in the under sink cupboard proves that. CB crystals are one of these oxygen active cleaners and for our kitchen floor it’s good but does require rinsing afterwards. Can’t say we’ve tried it on anything else but it says you can use it on countertops, work surfaces, sinks, draining boards, gardening furniture, ceramic tiles and glass.

Hopefully the Witches will be asked to do the next advertising campaign if they can beat what Dettox have offered!

WoE

p.s. old Motorhead T-shirts make great cleaning kit ….
Rod said,

February 24, 2007 @ 6:19 pm

WoE
sounds like a typical day in the life of a Domestic Witchified Goddess.

Though I did expect to see:
Where’s my sextant ?

p.s. old Motorhead T-shirts make great cleaning kit

Don’t make me come over there !
Rod said,

February 24, 2007 @ 6:20 pm

OMITK
I am literally laughing out loud - superb ! Well it is to read, not sure how funny it is as daily way of life though !

Reception:”Your interview is here”
Me: “It’s tomorrow:
Reception: “He says he can’t do tomorrow so it will have to be today”
Me: “Wish him luck with his future career”

Love it !
Rod said,

February 24, 2007 @ 6:31 pm

ARB
I told my business account manager never to call me again or I’d come in and close my accounts - amazingly they never called again.
It followed roughly this conversation:
A Retired Bookdealer said,

February 24, 2007 @ 7:07 pm

” Never understood why we need business accounts anyway,
I stopped using mine many years ago,
I was not using any of there services, so why give them money to spend my own !
…………………
Regarding cold calls from banks, offering insurance, loans, cards, etc.
Since I started asking them to confirm to me who they were, I no longer get calls from them.
…………………
So a tip for you all, next time your bank calls you for no reason and asks you to confirm you are the account holder by answering a couple of security questions, ask them a couple of security questions back to confirm who they are - they soon get the message.

After all if they need to contact you - they will write.
………………..
Ps - This does Not work with Kitchen, Window and Conservatory cold callers, upset one of them and believe me
they call and call and call, I upset one bloke and I am sure the first thing he did in the morning when he go to work was grab the telephone and call me !.

ARB.
Our Man in the Kitchen said,

February 24, 2007 @ 11:31 pm

Rod,
Hot off the press tonight:
“Mr…loves the menu you’ve written for him but doesn’t want to pay that much-can we do it cheaper?”
Me: “No”
Later..”He’s asking why not”
Me: “Because we’re in business, the same as he is”
Reply: “He won’t be happy”
Me: “He charges people for writing them a letter, I don’t charge him for writing a menu-he should be more grateful. Would he go into Waitrose and say “I really want to drink that bottle of Saint Veran but don’t want to pay that much, will you knock a couple of quid off?”
Reply: “Probably”

This in the middle of a sixty cover dinner service, one day off in three weeks and a young French chef telling me that the horseradish cream needs to be whipped before I could quennelle it. I thanked him for pointing that out as after twenty two years in the trade coupled with the fact that it was my dish I would have been unable to figure that out for myself. I walked away longing for days gone by when I’d have felled the young upstart with a rabbit punch to the kidneys.
There’s no justice.
Rod said,

February 25, 2007 @ 10:25 am

OMITK
you are clearly swimming against the tide, it’s a wonder you don’t get tired and just give in !
You show remarkable restraint in not assaulting your staff any longer, is this a sign of your age or the times ?
Being unable to beat your employees seems like political correctness gone mad