The Lack of Culture in Lincolnshire
Finding things of cultural or intellectual interest is becoming ever more depressing - it’s like swimming against the tide - maybe it’s time to give in and swallow the water !
It is all but impossible to slake a thirst for culture or indeed anything remotely civilized in Lincolnshire.
Granted there is the occasional oasis but it’s mostly arid desert sands around here.
There must be something interesting or intellectually stimulating going on - there just has to be.
Perhaps I should just give in, let the old brain run down a little - could be quite nice in fact.
Blissful pleasure I could then make (these are true) statements like:
I think we should have the Euro rather than the pound because everything’s cheaper abroad innit !
Q: Why do you actually vote for the Labour Party ?
A: Because my father did
I’m beginning to think there might be something in this - I just need to gauge where exactly I want to land on the Moronic Scale (not to be confused with the Beaufort Wind Scale) somewhere between congenital moron and general half-wit should do it.
Any suggestions for things I should take up, watch, read or seek out in this race to dumb down are gratefully received.
Anyway must dash Celebrity Enemas on Ice and The World’s 100 Greatest Paving Stones are on the TV tonight.
Regards
Rod
the dinosaur said,
March 25, 2007 @ 9:16 am
years ago I saw an advertisment in the local paper (Louth Leader) for an open day at the sewerage farm on a sunday, courtesy of Anglia Water. It said something like “come and see how the process works,bring all the family and have a picnic!” Perhaps if you ask nicely they will hold this thrilling event again.
Rod said,
March 25, 2007 @ 9:31 am
Dino,
thanks for a perfect example of fragrant Lincolnshire culture - as I allude to, it’s all a load of crap !
There was a sign advertising a sculpture demonstration outside the heritage centre yesterday - turned out to be some guy stood in a bandstand in the freezing cold hacking away at a log with a chainsaw whilst people hurried by on their way to town !
Witches of Eastwick said,
March 25, 2007 @ 10:36 am
Rod,
There’s an excellent art department in North Kesteven who seem to have a large pot of money to spend on events. Why is the rest of the county low on funding for this purpose?
As a little aside, we spotted a round mud hut near to Fiskerton recently which is presumably our representation of life for the marsh dwellers of the Iron Age. No doubt it’s nothing of the kind, probably the foundations of a future burger joint…..
WoE
A Retired Bookdealer said,
March 25, 2007 @ 12:20 pm
Culture in Lincolnshire.
Decided to investigate this further, so into Yahoo we go ,
Typed in - Leisure and Culture in Lincolnshire.
Great got a few results, via Lincolnshire County Council website, clicked on the links available only to find,
” The Page cannot Be found “
Interesting …. even they seem to have given up.
Possibly one should think about looking further afield !, this may even involve leaving the county.
Which is something I think about doing on a daily basis.
Rod said,
March 25, 2007 @ 1:29 pm
WoE
Why is the rest of the county low on funding for this purpose?
There’s huge areas in this county that have no interest in such things so in fairness to councils etc, can they justify giving money to things of minor popularity?
It’s all a complete and utter wash out !
RC
Rod said,
March 25, 2007 @ 1:32 pm
ARB
that sums it up beautifully - a great idea, in terms of site theme and being on topic, with the bonus of deliciously ironic results.
As to looking further afield - France or Italy springs most readily to my mind.
Bail out and say sayonara to this dump
RC
A Retired Bookdealer said,
March 25, 2007 @ 3:52 pm
Bail out and say sayonara to this dump
Rod,
You can understand why thousands leave this country every week,
ARB,
Rod said,
March 25, 2007 @ 5:41 pm
ARB
I can indeed ! The question is - where will it leave the country in years to come ?
Witches of Eastwick said,
March 25, 2007 @ 7:32 pm
Rod,
If memory serves us correctly, there is more culture in Canwick Sewage Treatment Works than the rest of the county ….. not to be sniffed at!!!!
We will write to the V&A to see if Kylie’s gold hot pants are intending to go on tour in Lincolnshire … we could hire a mini bus for the gang and once our artistic batteries are charged we could stop off at LB’s cafe for a swift Keeman before heading into the outback.
Fiskerton’s mud hut is looking like the only dead cert!
WoE
Little Brother said,
March 25, 2007 @ 7:52 pm
WoE,
Are you on drugs?
LB
Rod said,
March 26, 2007 @ 8:30 am
WoE
your knowledge of lincolns sewage works puts me to shame.
My ignorance is less obvious on the topic of Kylie’s hotpants though.
The V&A should put them on tour - on aserious point why not ?
They tour plenty of other stuff !
That sounds just right for me - culture and hot chicks !
Perfect for the shallow person pretending to have depth
RC
Witches of Eastwick said,
March 26, 2007 @ 8:43 am
LB,
Strangely enough that is exactly what the manager of a well known supermarket asked us recently after we politely enquired where the broomstick parking was …..
WoE
Rod said,
March 26, 2007 @ 8:52 am
WoE
I trust they had Mother & Child broomstick spaces for Samantha and Tabatha
Jordan said,
March 26, 2007 @ 12:25 pm
‘Cultural or intellectual interest’
On this site or Lincolnshire??!! Mr Collins you should do stand-up comedy for a living!
I have found none of the former or the latter in a long time.
I find solace in reading WoE entries on your site only.
Thank you for your welcome back comments WoE. I will try my best to add ‘culture and intellectual interest’ to this site, but alas like yourselves, it is a daily struggle to stop the male gender of this site falling into the pits of squalor.
Regards
Jordan
Rod said,
March 26, 2007 @ 1:32 pm
Jordan
I thought lovers of culture flocked to this site - I presumed the ever increasing traffic was due to the hig-brow content I keep adding.
A touch of cultural interest would be welcomed by all I suspect - but it looks like it’s up to you and the witches to supply it
Witches of Eastwick said,
March 26, 2007 @ 5:07 pm
Rod,
A Sculptor acquaintance of ours says that he likes living in this county but hasn’t managed to sell any of his work. Could be for many reasons but we suspect Lincolnshire folk are unwilling to dip into their pockets to spend on such items. All our other contacts in the art world have long since moved to greener cultural pastures …. apart from that is, those who work for district councils that have sound financial backing and work with local communities, getting people involved with projects they may never have thought they’d be able to try … like stained glass and fabric design.
Personally the Witches feel the need for great architecture from time to time and on the whole have to travel for that. We like theatre too and should go more often.
Rod, we see you having a go at ironworks, creating something bold with the Collins stamp on it. Plus it’s physical work and will help with the extreme exercise plan you have implemented in time for the Wybers Wood body beautiful contest! Naturally you will be drawn towards the ladies sewing circle, but you must resist …. think bold and manly. Helpful advice can be found at the Witches Workshop, who specialize in knowing a little about a lot. Let’s face it, you’ll just have to get out of the county every once in a while and drink in the culture on offer, then return to WW to reflect.
Rest assured my friend that if all else fails, we can fall back on sewage as it were ….. until tomorrow then ….
WoE
Witches of Eastwick said,
March 26, 2007 @ 5:58 pm
Jordan,
What do we make of the Lincolnshire males and are they a breed apart? They have been described to us as ‘clunch’ ….. we can find no mention of this term in our dictionary, the closest word being ‘clunk’ verb, to make a dull sound like thick metal objects hitting each other!
WoE
p.s. Boys before you get all upset, we must point out that this obviously excludes the likes of you who fall into the beefcake, highly cultured bracket….
Rod said,
March 26, 2007 @ 6:30 pm
WoE
I am hardly surprised that he hasn’t sold anything - tacky figurines at £1 each would sell like hot cakes though
It’s been a few years since I was at a forge and anvil but somewhere around I believe I still have some of the results of those efforts.
As I still do need a profession, in order to say I actually do something, perhaps blacksmith could be the answer !
I am still rather tempted to bring The Great Rodini back out of retirement though!
I would need to polish my stunning array of tricks up but I suppose it’s like riding a bike
Nostrovia
RC
mikey said,
March 28, 2007 @ 7:16 pm
HI, like the site.
Being an old ludensian couldn’t help being drawn to the ‘culural lincolnshire’ debate.
Well, I’ve racked my brains and yep, the paucity is astounding. All of the cultural icons i know of in Lincs I just don’t get (e.g. Tennyson, John Shuttleworth!?). I do like the lingo though and use it liberally in my current environs (Lancashire) at every opportunity (’clunch’ being a favourite).
I once saw a great concert at Spilsby Theatre, but had the benefit of too many ales to fully remember the experience…
Rod said,
March 29, 2007 @ 9:40 am
Mikey
thanks for taking the time to comment, you’re always welcome back.
It sounds like you are well into the Lincolnshire spirit of things, actually finding something cultural then drinking too much
Seriously though, The Spilsby Theatre does have a good name
Regards
RC
mikey said,
March 29, 2007 @ 7:52 pm
Alas, the drinking of fine, or more often not so fine, victuals is something of a necessity for yellow bellys, there aint much else to do…
The playgoers theatre in Louth sometimes puts on a good play (my uncle is an amdram thespian, he’s a bit like a thin Richard Griffiths who’s read too many editions of zoo!). He has been a player in a few entertaining things though.
Good luck with your quest!
Mikey
Rod said,
March 29, 2007 @ 8:01 pm
Hi Mikey
I’m not sure who is to blame for my intake of claret, I’d ike to thinks it’s location rather than myself
he’s a bit like a thin Richard Griffiths who’s read too many editions of zoo!
That sounds like the kind of guy I’d like to meet
Thanks for the well wishes and ……….. cheers
Rod
Little Witchlet said,
April 8, 2007 @ 12:18 am
As ever, a little late joining this posting - too busy partaking of Lincolnshire Culture! It is out there - but being clunch reserved yellow bellies, those doing the advertising haven’t heard of shouting it from the roof tops! I’m pleased to say the younger generation of this County are doing their best to partake in some fantastic bands/orchestras/productions etc - shame we can’t hang on to them though - “more cultural” centres keep coaxing them away!!
Spilsby Theatre, Louth Playgoers… gems!
Little ‘Yellow Belly’ Witchlet x
Aaaah, sewage works open days - such memories!
Rod said,
April 8, 2007 @ 6:44 am
LW
better late than never - any contribution from someone actually raising cultural levels in Lincolnshire is also well worth waiting for.
If you hear of anything deeper than a puddle, via your Cultural Cognoscenti Contacts - CCC henceforth, going on in Grimsby let us know!
Don’t overdo the chocolate eggs !
Rod