Rod Collins

I have been collecting correspondence sent here for Rod Damon.
His popularity is now quite alarming and dealing with his mail is something of a task and requires a large mail sack per week.

I hand you over now to Rod Damon and I should point out that the letters he chooses to respond to are his choice and not necessarily representative as a whole.

Well ladies and gentlemen - once again it is time to unload my bulging sack !
There seems to be the usual selection of boneheads, bra-burners and extremists but I’ll try and find a few that are printable

Please Help:
I am about to get married but I am having second thoughts. I read your posts about married life and now wish I had not proposed marriage to my girlfriend.

Anxious from Surrey

Dear Anxious from Surrey
my fake marriage, for undercover work, lasted but one week and let me assure you it was a living hell!
I was once tortured for three days in a far eastern jail - that was infinitely less distressing.

At least you have seen the light before putting the ring on her finger. Tell her it’s all off !
If she cares for you she’ll understand and continue to look after your needs.
If not move on

Coxeman
I am a school teacher and am concerned that my teenage pupils are reading your comments.
Do you think your womanizing is a good example?

Disgusted - Kent

Of course my womanizing sets a good example for young men and women.
Men are men, boys need to be taught this and girls need to understand.
After all, what use is a bull that serves only one cow!

Dear Rod Damon
My girlfriend wants me to get my back and chest waxed - I am giving it serious consideration - what do you think?

Are you a homosexual ?
Also, what do mean giving serious consideration to something a woman suggests.
Be a man and cultivate that chest hair !

Dear Coxeman
you are my hero. You have many women and I love to read about your exploits.
I have no confidence in that area - how can I be more like you?

John - Cleethorpes

John
confidence comes from within, while it has to be said I do have greater ‘attributes’ than most men and it would be unfair to suggest you could emulate me.
That said, you can certainly take a leaf out of my book.

Be a man’s man - women pretend to like to soft caring type but it’s all crap.
Generally, all they want is supporting for the rest of their lives and a good seeing to !
I recommend concentrating on the latter and avoiding the former.

You are uncommonly lucky in as much as the girls in Cleethorpes are notoriously easy,
so there should be plenty of opportunity for you to practice.
Maybe one day you too can be a legendary swordsman

Dear Rod
I think I have fallen in love with you !
My female friends think I’m crazy and call you a sexist pig - but I cannot help myself or my degraded dreams at night.

I am young, slim and people say pretty, would you take me out.

Emma - Horncastle

Dear Emma
no need to be embarrassed, many wimmin share you thoughts and passionate feelings.
Horncastle is off the beaten track for me but send a picture in and if you’re worth the journey I’ll try and fit you in

Dear Mr Damon
my fiancee is not very adventurous in the bedroom department. I am keen to try lots of exciting things but she feels she is going wild just by leaving a bedside lamp on.

Any ideas how I can get her to spice things up a bit?
Regards
Frank - Derbyshire

Frank
there are ways and means of course but ultimately it sounds like you’ve hitched your horse to the wrong rail.
Many women are frigid and boring in bed, often the tell-tale signs of early feminism.

Naturally I can bring them round but even I am tiring of the effort.
Go out there and trade her in for a ‘goer’ leave her to get on with her knitting and baking

Damon You Swine !
When I catch you I’ll wring your bloody neck !
My girlfriend is a stable girl at a large country house and has been acting very strangely recently.
I finally got to the truth and found out that you took advantage of her during a visit to his Lordship’s house.
She now complains that I am not well enough endowed to satisfy her nor do I have the stamina to be a real man.

When I get hold of you I’ll kill you
Reg - Little Hampton

Reg,
yeah yeah yeah, I’ve heard it all before - take a ticket and join the queue

Keep it Up !
The Coxeman

Share