The Coxeman Removed from Flight and Arrested
Imagine my horror when I checked my RSS news feeds this morning and picked this up from Reuters news wire. They clearly do not know his background or thankfully that he is a guest writer for this site.
Man Arrested - 6 Stewardesses Suspended
A man was arrested and removed from a plane upon landing earlier today in what was initially believed to be a security scare. Details are sketchy at present but a contact in airport security has confirmed the man’s name as Rod Damon.
It also transpires that six stewardesses were suspended on full-pay by the airline and in what may be an unrelated incident, a policewoman is also on suspension following an incident at the airport.
More information as the story unfolds.
From The London Times
Confusion in the Air
Our reporter, Algernon B. Wordsmith, was returning on a flight from Europe when police boarded the plane and arrested one male passenger. Wordsmith writes:
It was all very strange there had been no disturbance or apparent security threats and the man was clearly not drunk or aggressive. The only strange thing about the flight was the peculiar lack of stewardesses.
More information in later issues
From The Salacious Enquirer
Mile High Club - Record Shattered
Our man on the spot, Muck Raker, has the inside scoop that all the others missed. There was a security alert on flight 4887432 - not for terrorism but for short-staffing, insufficient staff to ensure passenger safety.
C0-pilot, I.B. Wright, was quoted as saying:
I was asked to investigate and it transpired that the passenger in seat #25 had been ‘entertaining’ stewardesses, two at a time, in the 1st Class bathroom. Upon landing the passenger was arrested for forcing his attentions on 6 members of our female cabin staff, that is all I know.
Muck Raker dug deeper and can reveal that the police were initially unable to charge the man as none of the stewardesses involved would press charges. Indeed, they admitted they were in no way forced to do anything. Only one was prepared to comment:
Ms Mona Cumming told me:
Mr Damon was an absolute gentleman and it is a flight I’ll never forget, I don’t care if I lose my job !
In a related incident shortly after, a lady police officer, Miss Ida Down, who was guarding the prisoner, was found in a state of undress by Inspector Knacker when entering the customs holding cell. She is now ‘on leave’ and unavailable for comment.
Mr Rod Damon appears to be something of an enigma and I can rake up little about him. This mystery deepened after he was dramatically released by Inspector Knacker. The Inspector apparently received 2 telephone calls then ordered the prisoners immediate release without charge.
Mr Damon was whisked away the the back of a waiting black Jaguar
