Man Points What Are They and How to Get Them

October 23, 2006 at 12:48 pm · Filed under The Coxeman

A guest post on Man Points by the international counterspy and legendary philanderer Rod Damon.

Morning All,
I have been asked by the site owner to give you all some idea of what Man Points are.
Obviously any real men out there know already but for the women and nancy-boys here is the quick and dirty version.

I’ll start by reproducing the definition from The Urban Dictionary

Man Points
Points that one receives upon the completion of a distinctly manly task. More often than not, intelligent points and man points are inversely proportional.

Points are received for doing stereotypical macho actions like starting a fight with a professional boxer

I cannot overstate the importance of men being men - many of us have been emasculated over the years, turned into New Men, House Husbands and God knows how many other horrors.
I have been accused of being a dinosaur for trying to stand against the growing swell of anti-manliness.

I would strongly urge all men to rise up and regain control of the world before it’s too late - before you know it you’ll be cooking, cleaning, using moisturizer and having female friends!

Here are a few brief suggestions that will both gain and lose those all important man points, each + point being countered with the converse that leads to a negative.

Things that earn Man Points

Things that lose Man Points

There are many more and I may post some of them as comments later. Now you get the idea of what real men need to do to improve their manliness rating.
All you pussy whipped men out there take note and wise up !

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28 Comments »

Rod said,

October 23, 2006 @ 12:55 pm

Thank you Mr Damon,
this seems like a good springboard for suggestions as to what does and does not make a man.

I suspect there may be one or two opinions that differ somewhat from yours.

All suggestions and comments invited from men and women - what do you think?
Jordan said,

October 23, 2006 @ 1:13 pm

Mr Damon

Now you get the idea of what real men need to do to improve their manliness rating.
All you pussy whipped men out there take note and wise up !

Indeed to write such hypocritical nonsense, should put you in the latter category.

You lower your site even more Mr Collins allowing such rubbish, i think soon i may have to take you off my ‘favorites’ list.

Jordan

PS. Glad to see SC is alive! And maybe you should wear a hard hat on your walks, you live in a dangerous area and these are dangerous times!
Ursula said,

October 23, 2006 @ 2:14 pm

A good springboard is always useful when speady dispatching of useless men is necessary. Urs
Rod said,

October 23, 2006 @ 2:25 pm

Jordan
the international Super Spy Rod Damon is a law unto himself and cannot be controlled. Do not delete the site from your favorites as I know both myself and The Coxeman are fans of your feisty comments.

As to dangerous times, how right you are not 15 minutes ago I had a close encounter with a Rottweiler!
Regards
Rod
The Coxeman said,

October 23, 2006 @ 2:39 pm

Now would be a good time to mention the sliding scale of Man Points.
Points are awarded for manlike actions but obviously some are more manly than others - naturally then the number of points awarded rises exponentially with the deed or situation.

There are certain things all men should do, such as provide for your family without help (should you have one), own your own house and car etc. As these are basic prerequisites they attract only a small number of points. Therefore anyone looking to score impressively needs to get into the higher point paying manly stuff.

I have had an email forwarded to me from someone who says he now feels inadequate having read this and having described himself I can see why!

But fear not, you don’t need to be a young 6ft 7in lumberjack with equestrian sized attributes to be a man’s man, I for example, am 6/2 and have never chopped a tree down.
Granted, anyone under 6 foot tall starts with a huge deficiency in points, everybody knows this, but these can be made up in other, often surprising, ways.
Think of Stephen Hawking - huge score!

Keep it Up!
The Coxeman
Rod said,

October 23, 2006 @ 2:50 pm

I have to report yet another incident whilst out walking this afternoon. Once again strolling along in my own little world, suddenly an unleashed an unmuzzled (illegal I think) Rottweiler appears to be bounding towards me.

I badly need to raise my score after losing 50 points due to an injudicious remark about me being regarded as an honorary girl. Here was the opportunity, I stood my ground, held my nerve and continued to walk toward and stare at the fast approaching hound of hell. The dog veered off it’s course !

I get some points - great. However, in re the sliding scale, not that many. What I should have done is punched the mobile defecating machine in the nose - thereby raising the bar considerably
Witches of Eastwick said,

October 23, 2006 @ 4:01 pm

Rod, do not raise the bar too high or other less deserving men will march right under it and overtake you. This puts us in mind of the pole vaulter … now there’s a manly sport …… arrh Sergi where are you now. Still, women make excellent vaulters too. Would you describe them as hot chicks? WoE
Jordan said,

October 23, 2006 @ 4:05 pm

Rod.
Poor Rottweiler was probably more frightened of you Mr Collins!
After seeing your picture above, i am sure that this has not been the first ‘dog’ that has come bounding up to you, then made a fast exit! Indeed i am sure this goes for the Coxeman too!
Coxeman:
Maybe i should be introduced to the a young 6ft 7in lumberjack with equestrian sized attributes, a man’s man, you mentioned, he at least sounds interesting!

Jordan
Rod said,

October 23, 2006 @ 4:23 pm

WoE
>>Would you describe them as hot chicks?

absolutely not, hot chicks can go to the gym in order to stay hot but sporting activities are a no no
Rod said,

October 23, 2006 @ 4:27 pm

Jordan

i am sure that this has not been the first ‘dog’ that has come bounding up to you

Absolutely, I have known a few dogs I have to admit.
That said, I have also known one or two real honeys who were more than easy on the eye, as I am sure you can believe!
Ollie said,

October 23, 2006 @ 5:38 pm

i did the pamplona bull run - how many points do i get for that ?
Rod said,

October 23, 2006 @ 6:44 pm

Ollie
i did the pamplona bull run - how many points do i get for that ?

A shitload - nice one!
Rod said,

October 23, 2006 @ 6:58 pm

Some notable examples

Tommy Lee
Drummer with rock band Motley Crue, married to the 2 hottest chicks ever, Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson.
Already enough for monumental Man Points. Add to that, Heather caught him in a hotel bed with two stunning strippers. Fellow band members (pun intended) call him T-Bone, watch the Tommy & Pammy video clips on the net to see why.
Total number of MPs = Incalculable just stratospheric

Woody Allen
Writer, film producer and all round drip.
Could not be further from a real man. He could pull it out of the bag if his films were good, as it is they are boring and crap, whatever a few pseudo-intellectuals would try to have us believe
Total Number of MPs - huge negative score

Sir Ranulph Fiennes
Adventurer and classic Englishman.
Former member of the SAS, one of the highest scoring things you can get.
Explorer and leader of the Transglobe expedition. An unbelievable man !
Even cut his own frost bitten toes off with a saw in his garden shed rather than bother going to the doctors (he gets more MPs for that alone than Hugh Grant gets for nailing Liz Hurley.
This demonstrates age etc is not always an issue
Total number of MPs = infinite - in the Uber Man class

Any more for any more winners or losers
Rod
Little Brother said,

October 24, 2006 @ 2:57 pm

74 million points to Steve Wynne for elbowing his Picasso!
Little Brother said,

October 24, 2006 @ 3:02 pm

Rod,
Apparently mobile phones are damaging a man’s ability to father a child-no more landline calls for us then!
A Woman of No Particular Importance said,

October 24, 2006 @ 3:43 pm

FAO: All men with huge man-point tallies and all interested women

Most interesting women are interested in men who fall into the high scoring man-points category, we all know that. The reason is of course, that most men out there are very dull and there isn’t much inbetween, so the cycle continues. As women, we have to abandon men like Rod Damon and employ a male trainer instead so that our men know how to be behave. This would be money well spent. There is no excuse for all you men out there who are not getting your fair share of female adoration. You may be confused as to how to go about this so you need some instruction. Of course charisma cannot be taught so I am assuming that you already have an element of that. This is not rocket science, as they say. Once the male has received instruction he will be ready to take on a life of adoration and reap the benefits that naturally follow. If, after intensive training, he doesn’t show any sign of improvement, get rid of him. Women it’s up to you to spot potential. Men it’s up to you to become attentive. The finale, remain faithful. Simple isn’t it?

By the way, Tommy Lee and Sir Ranulph Fiennes, should not be mentioned in the same category, women will see Tommy Lee and others like him, as cheap trash. Mr Collins, by including his exploits you show your true colours. No good will ever come of it I tell you. Pedestals should only be occupied by the deserving. On that note I shall tell you that I have a pedestal in my garden for you Mr Collins, tis a precarious position so try not to wobble (zero man-points), my coconuts are getting closer and closer
Witches of Eastwick said,

October 24, 2006 @ 5:08 pm

Rod, I actually overheard a conversation recently between two women who both agreed that it was a shame they weren’t attracted to other females because there are so many fabulous women out there and hardly any men that were worth the effort …… that’s terrible. Single men everywhere should be ashamed. As to Tommy Lee, his man points should be cut off.

Nb. I once witnessed a man I know very well, jump into shark infested waters to attempt to save the life of another man …. hail mortal, you know who you are and you are a king among men.

ps. on a lighter note, may I say your feathers looked splendid today and your sparkling conversation as good as any Bollinger, cheers, WoE
Rod said,

October 24, 2006 @ 5:23 pm

Little Brother
I have been listening to the speaking clock for two hours on my cell as I too saw the news
Here’s to infertility, those are MPs worth losing
Rod said,

October 24, 2006 @ 5:28 pm

AWONPI
Once the male has received instruction he will be ready to take on a life of adoration and reap the benefits that naturally follow

It could be worth starting another thread discussing Women Points. Naturally these exist in the cloistered female world and should perhaps be discuused in the same way as Man Points!

By the way, Tommy Lee and Sir Ranulph Fiennes, should not be mentioned in the same category
This was not done to be comparative but to show diversity and that there is more than one way to skin a cat
Rod said,

October 24, 2006 @ 5:36 pm

WoE

there are so many fabulous women out there and hardly any men

If that’s true why have you all failed to find me one whilst gathered around your cauldron - hubble, bubble, toil and trouble !

I once witnessed a man I know very well, jump into shark infested waters to attempt to save the life of another man

Please do not tell me it’s who I think it is and that I have met him?
I cannot even begin to estimate the number of man points that would earn - it puts him easily in the Uber League, somewhere normal men will never see, myself included.

Thanks for a great day, coversation and opinions alluded to but not broadcast here.
Cheers
Rod
Witches of Eastwick said,

October 24, 2006 @ 10:57 pm

Rod, Hubble ran off with a new age traveller, Bubble decided women were an altogether better bet and now lives with Toil, which leaves Trouble …. don’t say I didn’t warn you! WoE
Lincoln Imp said,

October 24, 2006 @ 11:27 pm

Rod,
Now that we have been blessed with this insight into the female mind we can boldly step out into the world of single women and ‘reap the benefits that naturally follow’- a big arse in jogging bottoms, sans make-up, hair tied back, eating pizza and garlic bread with sex out of the question because X-Factor, Eastenders and 999 Emergency are on.
I shall now return to my state of blissful ignorance
Impey
Rod said,

October 25, 2006 @ 9:10 am

WoE
>>Hubble ran off with a new age traveller

Don’t get me started on soap dodgers !
Rod said,

October 25, 2006 @ 9:13 am

Impey,
you sum the real world up perfectly, think how many people are trapped in that living hell !
To be fair to women, think also how many of them are stuck with the male equivalent.

All the men and women who actually do have something about them and are going/got somewhere cannot get married or live together for fear of getting financially shafted.
Thanks for commenting
Regards
Rod
Witches of Eastwick said,

October 25, 2006 @ 10:21 am

Dear Impey

As Amonpi rightly says, education is vital, so with this in mind ….. do not assume you can boldly go anywhere without the necessary instruction ….. we don’t want any students to fail. Our new school for the lack-lustre male, will soon be open …. a sort of OU which will be especially useful for all those hard working men out there who haven’t previously found the time to study.

Head Teacher: Mr R Collins (private tuition negotiable)
Dinner Ladies/Course Tutors: The Witches of Eastwick

To give a balanced overview we will be looking towards the likes of Jordan and PPK, last and certainly least, Mr Damon. WoE
Shane said,

October 26, 2006 @ 6:55 pm

Ollie said,
October 23, 2006 @ 5:38 pm

i did the pamplona bull run - how many points do i get for that ?

Reply ….. Why Run from the Bull !
Could you not just take a casual stroll , or just pole - axe it !
Shane said,

October 26, 2006 @ 7:01 pm

Rod said,
October 23, 2006 @ 2:50 pm

I have to report yet another incident whilst out walking this afternoon. Once again strolling along in my own little world, suddenly an unleashed an unmuzzled (illegal I think) Rottweiler appears to be bounding towards me

Reply -
I had a similar experience
Only this one was pushing a trolley towards me in a Supermarket
It should have at least been muzzled !
Rod said,

October 26, 2006 @ 7:04 pm

Shane,
I’ve told you to keep out of the Co Op, try M&S or Waitrose instead
Regards
Rod