Rod Collins

If you’re not familiar with the Darwin awards then you ought to be - they’re right up my street for a start - in that case perhaps you ought not to be !
The are, of course, named after Charles Darwin the father of evolution. The awards go out to those who do the most to improve the communal gene pool - i.e. the dumbest people who remove themselves from the gene pool all together !

Being a fan of improving the gene fool I feel inextricably drawn toward this
Interestingly for our female readers, the majority of people featured in The Darwin awards tend to be men !

My favourite is:

A man who tied helium filled weather balloons to his garden chair, tied himself to it and had some beer, sandwiches and an air rifle. The tethering rope was cut and his idea was to float a few feet above his garden in complete comfort drinking beer and eating sandwiches. The airgun was to gradually shoot the balloons to control his height and gradual descent.
Unfortunately, once the rope was cut he advanced rapidly to 16,000 feet and was too scared to shoot the balloons !!
After a couple of hours he began to freeze so had to shoot or freeze to death.
He did descend but became entangled in power lines and blacked out an entire town !
It did not result in his death so initially he did not qualify for an award - he remedied this himself a couple of years later by shooting himself - resulting in an honorary award !

Another:
A German man who became obsessed with killing the moles that were ruining his lawn drove metal stakes all around it . The idea being to electrify the underground holes. He did not connect them to a domestic supply but to a High Voltage supply.
The result was to electrify the entire ground, wandering onto it he electrocuted himself !

There were 3 Cambodian men drinking in a bar who decided to enliven their evening. They threw a landmine under their table. They then took it in turn to down a drink in one and stamp on the mine.
The other customers fled the bar but undeterred our super intelligent drinking partners carried on with ever greater gusto. The game came to an end with the surprising event of a landmine going off when somebody stamps on it - very little was found of the 3 amigos !

A man went out shooting with his dog. The dog found a bone but would not relinquish it when his responsible gun owning master tried to divest him of it. Becoming increasingly annoyed with the tug-of-war the man got hold of his shot gun by the end of the barrel and, using it like a baseball bat, kept trying to hit the dog.
The dog was quicker than his master, both in terms of intelligence and agility and dodged the blows - until he hit the ground and the gun went off shooting himself in the stomach. He survived long enough to tell the tale before dying in hospital

We must thank these people for not passing on and spreading their genetic code
Hope you enjoyed them
Rod

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