Swine Flu in Lincolnshire
Swine Flu is Officially in the UK - well in Scotland - not sure whether that counts 
I’d not paid any attention to this thinking it a load of tripe as usual from the papers.
Seems there might be something in it though . . .
Has swine flu reached Lincolnshire and if so how do I avoid it ?
Having a legendary constitution I am, of course, not concerned for myself, I doubt I’ll as much as sneeze if I contract it never mind grow a trotter.
My brother, incidentally though not unrelated, is busy boiling up the cheeks of pigs and serving them as food would you believe - if the disease is abroad in Lincolnshire he may have some answering to do !
It seems those infected over here are returning holidaymakers of Scottish nationality, the Scots are notoriously prone to roaming - always have been, so you could argue they brought it on themselves - travelling abroad whatever next !
I’m on record as saying that travel narrows the mind and nothing good ever comes of anything undertaken outside of Lincolnshire. An extreme position to many I know, and one oft criticized - though I do feel I’m vindicated now 
It seems even the European Union agrees with me as well, though I shall continue to disagree with them in all other matters, and they’ve declared . . .
Do not Fly to America presumably it’s OK to swim, walk, row or, if you’re idle, take a boat then.
A good pandemic could be just what we need - clear the decks a bit - sort the wheat from the chaff - thin the weeds out, it could even be the politically acceptable face of Eugenics
I should much sooner be writing about the lovely Gemma Merna, featured in the papers today, she who is long of leg, golden of hair and blessed of chest but stringent site quality control standards mean it’s pigs instead 
Speaking of pigs: it leads me nicely onto snouts in troughs . . .
Today saw you multi-talented host wearing one of his many hats - this time Head of Goldeneye Accountancy !
Yes, it’s that time of year again, Gordon Brown wants a years tax and National Insurance so I had my annual accounts and tax return to do
I seem to have made a living again last year, well of sorts anyway, the results, whilst not spectacular, must be pretty impressive when translated to an hourly rate - second only to drug dealing I suspect.
So to sum up here is some incredibly useful and sagacious advice:
1: Avoid sneezing Mexicans
2: Move to Lincolnshire (especially if your a girl and hot)
3: If you know what you’re doing you can make an easy living selling books - chuck your job and see if you can do it !
4: Accountants, money for old rope, do your own accounts and tax returns
5: Gemma Mena - if you read this . . . will you marry me ?
Porcinely Yours
Rod
Little Brother said,
April 27, 2009 @ 10:49 pm
Rod,
‘Boiling up?’ how dare you? “Poeche a huit heures dans une fume de legumes et fines herbes” sil vous plait!!
LB
Femme Fatale said,
April 27, 2009 @ 10:54 pm
Rod,
Gemma Merna originates from Cleethorpes, so you might be on to a winner
FF
xx
Rod said,
April 28, 2009 @ 8:14 am
LB,
if things come to a head and you are brought to trial for spreading swine fever all that ‘foreign talk’ will count against you in a Lincolnshire court
ATB
Rod
Rod said,
April 28, 2009 @ 8:16 am
FF,
Never, can’t be !
If so - how me not know ?
I’m going to look into this - it could be worth an article - not a hot chick post you understand but ‘local interest’
Regards
Rod
PS you’d better not be winding me up !
Femme Fatale said,
April 28, 2009 @ 9:07 am
Rod,
Wikipedia
FF
xx
Rod said,
April 28, 2009 @ 9:23 am
FF,
It’s a scoop !
Consider yourself . . . Tintinette - Ace Reporter !
Presuming Wikipedia is correct of course
I’d better get cracking and prepare to spread the news - another hard day picture searching 
Many thanks !
Rod
Femme Fatale said,
April 28, 2009 @ 9:31 am
Rod,
I am sure that will be a hardship for you
FF
xx
Lucy said,
April 28, 2009 @ 6:38 pm
I’ve got to go back to Scotland tomorrow :S
I’ve done some research on this and it seems very likely that this virus is manmade…also funny (not haha) how only Mexican people have died from it (and not just the poor, but also wealthy people with access to quality healthcare) and revolucion was said to be likely this summer. Honestly, do a bit of info digging, there’s more to it imho.
soon to be stockpiling
Lucy
Rod said,
April 28, 2009 @ 6:43 pm
Hi Lucy,
thanks for the interesting info and sorry to hear you are Northern bound - make sure you wrap up well
It is worth a bit of time this by the looks of things, The Times are making some ominous comments as to potential outcomes and they tend not to be too alarmist.
Best of luck Lucy and safe journey
All the best
Rod