Pause for Thought
A chance encounter today gave me something to think about in re a full-time official girlfriend.
I saw someone in town today whom I have known for many years. We used to work for the same firm but I have not seen him for years.
Rough idea of how the conversation went:
Me: Hello ****, haven’t seen you for years.
Him: Rod, bloody hell, I can’t believe it! You’re looking well
Me: I wish I could say the same for you ****, how’s it going?
That was a mistake right there.
He lost his job and could not get another in his field, largely due to age, so took a lower paid job somewhere. Not too bad, as the house was paid off both kids left home.
His wife’s not happy though, her spending allowance has been badly cut.
She leaves him.
He has not the capital to pay her out and keep his frozen pension and house, so ends up leaving the house and keeping his car and money in his current account.
Now living in a rented flat and working for a security firm.
This is the second such story I have heard this week, another man I know will be looking for a big mortgage to pay his wife off, he’s in his 50s! Over £50k to borrow and pay back before he retires
This whole situation scares me to death.
Where does this leave the opening for an official full-time girlfriend I hear you ask?
Where indeed, you hear me reply!
The Coxeman said,
November 4, 2006 @ 6:09 pm
I’ve been through this with you before bonehead!
Wheel them in then wheel them out. Most women tend to be of little use after a couple dates anyway.
Why saddle yourself with just one ?
After all, as I have said before, what use is a bull that serves only one cow?
Keep it Up (if you get the chance)
The Coxeman
Witches of Eastwick said,
November 5, 2006 @ 12:48 am
Rod,
A partnership is just that, everything shared 50/50 which means there has to be hardship on both sides if they part, you make it sound like only men suffer and only they ‘own’ things. We know just as many women who have had the same treatment or worse. Other men will tell you it’s the cut in spending that made her go but this we doubt, there’s always more to it. With all these newly single women out there, isn’t this a good thing for the likes of you?
If it bothers you that much find a woman who needs no financial support, there should be loads in the Grimsby area after they’ve left their dull and boring husbands, and move in with her instead. Meanwhile your millions can rest easy in an offshore account.
To trusting men out there, beware the gold-digger, to trusting women out there, beware all men especially the untrusting/untrustworthy ones ……. Our new book, How to Hold on to your Property and Become a Sad Lonely Old Git, is topping the charts. WoE
Rod said,
November 5, 2006 @ 9:04 am
WoE,
A partnership is just that, everything shared 50/50
In business, you have to buy into a partnership, you’re entitled to 50% if you buy a 50% stake in the business.
I am sure you’re right in that there are always two sides to the story but every time I hear of people I know there is always one constant - the man gets shafted.
Whatever the ‘rest’ of the story behind the woman’s lack of spending power, the end result is she is sat in a house which is paid for despite not having worked for 30 years. He is in a rented flat having worked hard all his life!
I keep hearing about these new professional, independent single women out there who own their own houses, have money, good jobs etc and have done it all themselves - just never met one that’s all nor do I know anyone else who has!
There are a few, of course, but it’s a nonsense to suggest it is widespread.
I am not being chauvinistic, I think it is a shame.
Both for men and women.
At the end of the day there are a lot of lovely women out there that will find themselves alone or not with their partner of choice because of the financial risk.
Everyone just thinks this applies to millionaires and film stars etc.
I never hear anybody mention people that are just comfortable and sorted out.
Can you reasonably expect them to gamble their future security on less than a 50% chance or the whim of a woman ?
Witches of Eastwick said,
November 5, 2006 @ 12:51 pm
Rod,
If you paid for an ‘exclusive’ dating agency, perhaps they would have lots of women who fall into the independent category. Not necessarily rich but home owners and career orientated which might make you feel that the gamble would be shared. You are of course, quite right, meeting someone and moving in is always going to be an emotional and financial risk but what is the option …. to avoid it forever? Lincolnshire as a whole won’t attract the high flying career women that other counties claim so there won’t be as many to choose from perhaps. Not knowing Grimsby and its population, it might be unfair to assume Lincoln would be a better bet when it comes to searching within a certain mile radius, so try both.
The fact remains that women in their thirties are more likely to have established a career and by then most will have children. The women we know who fall into this category are equally as unwilling to risk it all, especially if they want a secure future for their children. Tis a dilemma for all at this age that’s for sure. Therefore for someone who feels as strongly as you do …. you must find a woman who has as much to lose as you. Without the risk you can get on with enjoying life. We ought to read the local newspaper ads to see exactly how people are describing their circumstances … that costs very little. Next step join the most exclusive dating agency. How much would that cost? Be on the lookout socially for friends who might know someone who might be worth at least a coffee …. no harm done but it would mean getting out more!
This subject has more mileage and the Witches will be ready for this on Tuesday, see if you can find out how much the agency would cost and if there is such a thing in this county. WoE
Witches of Eastwick said,
November 5, 2006 @ 1:33 pm
Rod, this is spooky …. have you read the article on aol today about what a man looks for in a woman/dating advice. Any comment? WoE
Rod said,
November 5, 2006 @ 5:10 pm
WoE
I’ll take a look at the article shortly, it does not surprise me that it is there, this affects many more people than might be imagined.
I Know of someone who tried a very exclusive dating agency, it worked really well but was very expensive.
The tricky thing is I can get a girl, of sorts, for the cost of 6-10 blue wickeds on a Saturday night in Grimsby. I don’t fancy throwing a grand at 6 months membership for a dating agency.
Everything else you say is, of course, perfectly correct. I may have a big final consultation with the witches on Tuesday and make a final decision after that.
I have to say I am leaning towards abandoning the idea of a girlfriend altogether! Is it worth all the effort and messing about?
Regards
Rod
Little Brother said,
November 5, 2006 @ 6:50 pm
WoE,
I have never known a man who has left his wife/partner but I know plenty of women who have left their husband/partner based on excitement and the thought that the grass is greener when nine times out of ten it isn’t. When the excitement dies down (as it always does) all that’s left is a lot of needless pain and upset. Personnally, I find Rod’s trepedation perfectly understandable. We’ve both got that particular t-shirt which shall shortly be exchanged for the new motorhead one!
Witches of Eastwick said,
November 5, 2006 @ 10:20 pm
LB,
Some people don’t know a good thing when they’ve got it, we’ll all agree to that …. old witches like us have witnessed things that would make your hair curl.
Now Rod’s made a connection with CJ he’s going to be a lot happier and in this state he may well find other good things will follow. By Tuesday afternoon the philosophy gang will have thrashed out the subject again. We find it interesting to hear how people with differing sets of circumstances react to the same situations, which is often enlightening. As to the trepidation t-shirt, we all had one of those ….. some of us have swapped ours for more of a designer positive thinking number and jolly nice we look too! Will we get to see the Collins boys wearing their new t-shirts, motorshed wasn’t it?
Don’t worry LB, when CJ and Rod tie the knot we’ll finally get to wear our kimonos. Looking back plan A was the best, we knew, we knew it! WoE
Rod said,
November 6, 2006 @ 8:21 am
WoE
it’s CJ Miles or nobody for me!
We shall thrash the subject out on Tuesday as you suggest but I have to be honest and say CJ Miles is the only hope for me !
And what a hope
Witches of Eastwick said,
November 6, 2006 @ 8:57 am
Rod, what if she lives in Hull? Are you imagining the nuptial photo … yes thought you were, wouldn’t it be the most eclectic gathering, all of us in our finery ….. you negotiating with OK mag, LB’s (the best man) hot tub full of Bollinger and the Motorhead quartet playing softly in the background. Get the feeling that it won’t be just the bride who’ll be blushing though……WoE
Rod said,
November 6, 2006 @ 9:11 am
WoE
sadly the lovely CJ lives in the good ole US of A so the wedding may present some practical difficulties.
Having Motorhead playing at my wedding is almost reason enough to get married…… well perhaps not.
Given the style of ‘modelling’ that CJ does, I doubt she’ll be blushing - but would no doubt look fabulous.
Regards
Rod
Jordan said,
November 6, 2006 @ 9:21 am
Rod.
Stay safe and single!
Although LB is right in his first message posted, not all women do the 50-50 thing, some of us have morals and do the right thing.
And as for ‘We’ve both got that particular t-shirt which shall shortly be exchanged for the new motorhead one!’
Lemmy is probably a lot more attractive than any of the internet dates!
Jordan
Rod said,
November 6, 2006 @ 9:53 am
Jordan,
Stay safe and single!
Very wise words, I intend to follow your advice, indeed taking steps to do so.
Time to retire from the game and let someone else have a go
Regards
Rod
Jordan said,
November 6, 2006 @ 5:06 pm
Wise words indeed, you seem to have ignored the rest of my entry tho!
‘Oh woe is me’ to all men, no thought to the women.
Rod said,
November 6, 2006 @ 6:15 pm
Jordan,
the main point is the ‘gamble’
As you rightly say not all women are the same, I can vouch for that.
The gamble is that you will not really know that until push comes to shove.
Anyway, it’s all academic now, I don’t expect to be faced with such dilemmas again.
Take it steady
Rod