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Operation Casino Royale

Goldeneye was out on mission today - Operation Casino Royale !
Needless to say, when your host shoots he scores !

The mission was prepared and planned with military precision. It began, as all good spy stories should, with a covert tip-off from a femme fatale on Sunday.
That took us to Monday morning, I was rudely awoken at 6.45am by an alarm clock, this is the first time in years I can recall this happening ! Whilst I am aware this is a regular curse for the working masses it was more than a little traumatic for me. At this point lesser men might have failed but the mission had to come first.

Emails and ablutions completed saw the Goldeneye chariot on the road at 7.45 and on course for the Asda supermarket (for our US friends, sort of Walmart)
Normally, of course, I should be reluctant to even be in the general vicinity of Asdas let alone actually venture inside but the life of a super hero does take one to some pretty unpleasant spots.

Now before we go any further, a brief word of explanation. Here on planet Goldeneye we are happy to spend money like a drunken sailor, but some things are problematic, none more so than DVDs. I am physically unable to pay for new releases, despite possessing moral fibre by the bucket load it just cannot be done.

Well what are you doing buying the new James Bond 007 Casino Royale DVD on the day it is released I hear you cry ?

Indeed, it is very expensive - prohibitively so in fact - positively a rich man’s game

£14.98 on Amazon !

Worse still

£14.99 on !

Now wait for your hero Goldeneye - You Know the Name - You Know the Number !

£7 Super Awesome !

With the ball safely in the back of the net I returned home feeling more than a little smug with time to cook a breakfast, visit my goddaughter then pop elsewhere for morning tea.
This feeling of smugness went positively stratospheric after I received a telephone call at 11.30.

Ring Ring
A very smug sounding voice enquiring as to whether I had bought Casino Royale yet.
Then proceeding to crow in a very undignified manner that he had paid only £8.99 for his copy and gloating under the presumption I had paid something circa £14 !

Needless to say this schadenfreude didn’t last for long when, like Mike Tyson, I delivered the knock-out blow and, continuing the German theme, the braggart made like the Red Baron and was shot down in flames.
A moment of severe personal devastation and something I suspect he will never fully recover from.

Pictorial evidence of a time check - back in the car with said bargain DVD

8.10 am Mission Accomplished !

Our thanks go out to Mata Hari the femme fatale for the covert intelligence and

The Greatest Shop in the History of the World - Ever !

Sometimes I amaze even myself - I think this could be the best day of my life :)

Casino Baby !


  1. Femme Fatale said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 1:23 pm

    Glad to be of service and I’m always available for undercover work !

  2. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 2:29 pm


    Here at the Coven, we don’t like to appear ostentatious but we have recently had our third bathroom tiled in Casino Royale DVDs ….. we had a few cut-offs so could have provided you with one, pity you didn’t say!


    p.s. nice nails by the way ….

  3. Little Brother said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 3:24 pm

    Take you manicured finger and shove it right…..

    ps re femme fatale-you know what happened to Vesper!
    Thanks for ruining my holiday-some brother you turned out to be.

  4. Rod said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 4:48 pm

    thanks for commenting, you’re always welcome back

  5. Rod said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 4:49 pm

    no doubt they are dubious copies, I understand that sort of dodgy movie downloading is rife in your area :)

    Well spotted on the nails, pleased to see people are paying attention, I don’t do these things by accident

  6. Rod said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 4:52 pm

    you sound a touch liverish !
    I didn’t think you’d be that bothered, after all what’s £1.99 ?…….

    You’re right - mentally a fortune :lol:

  7. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 5:39 pm


    Word is you’ve booked a bikini/leg wax … we have to tell you that it might be a little uncomfortable so do take something suitable to bite on like a twisted Motorhead t-shirt!


  8. Rod said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 6:26 pm

    all hirsute areas that I feel require attention have been suitably coiffured already - you don’t think I’d stint on something such as that do you?

    You continue to push your luck on the sacred Motorhead t-shirt front, all your potions and spells will not protect you from the wrath of the Rock Gods should they look down and catch you !


    PS: I would advise against asking to see any defoliated areas

  9. Femme Fatale said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 9:45 pm

    Mr Collins Esq,
    I have been known to perform leg and chest waxes on such gentlemen like yourself, but you need not bring anything to bite on, I provide absolutely everything and at a price that even Asda could not match!!!


  10. Femme Fatale said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 10:03 pm

    ps re femme fatale-you know what happened to Vesper!

    The Bitch is very much alive and well, thank you :)

  11. Little Brother said,

    March 19, 2007 @ 11:19 pm

    Femme Fatale,
    It seems that you and Rodent are not the only ones conspiring against me…revenge will be sweet.
    This whole episode has left a sour taste in my mouth, so much so that I felt the need to go out and drink a number of strong lagers and break my diet with a particularly fine Kerelan fish curry to alleviate the distaste I feel for certain members of my immediate family.
    You can pick your friends but not your family…bloody pity.

  12. The Coxeman said,

    March 20, 2007 @ 8:36 am

    Femme Fatale
    you’ll never have performed these things on any real man !
    There are only 3 types of men that have their chests waxed
    Shirt lifters

    This tide of anti-manliness needs stemming - the loss of Man Points is huge.

    Keep it Up ! (or in this case don’t - stop waxing men)
    The Coxeman

  13. Rod said,

    March 20, 2007 @ 9:21 am

    many thanks for the offer of extra services but in light of what The Coxeman says I’d better pass I’m afraid

  14. A Retired Bookdealer said,

    March 20, 2007 @ 11:30 am

    Old Soldier
    Well folks as at this time I have little interest in Bond and getting body areas waxed, its time to change yet again the subject matter, here goes.

    Early this morning I was watching one of those breakfast news programmes on the TV, of which I only found one item of interest, this being about Soldiers returning from Iraq and the fact that many may require medical help on there return, and as you would expect there may not be the help available these men will need.

    Which took me straight back to a Gentleman I had the privilege of knowing for a number of years, anyway this chap like thousands and thousands of others as a young man was called upon to do his duty for his country during the Second World War, which he did willingly, he was to serve his country during and after the Second World War, and during this time was to receive various medals.
    The end of his military career was to see him return home to normal family life, but he was never the same physically or mentally and at the time he should have had more medical attention than he received, from the time he left the armed forces to the day he retired he struggled with his job, his physical health deteriorated rapidly as the years passed, but he struggled on never asking anything from the country he served, all his life he worked to keep his family, just getting by, saving very little for retirement along the way, and never ever taking time off work.
    Fifty years after leaving the armed forces he was to open his front door one morning to a number of reporters, apparently papers had just been released by the government, something to do with making certain documents available to the public fifty years after the event, the full details I am unable to recall.
    Anyway it turns out this chap had done things for his country well beyond the call of duty, as had thousands of others. Anyway the press were very interested in his story, needless to say he turned them away, he did not want to relive some of the horrors he had seen as a young man, over the years he told me a few things about duties he had performed and things he had seen, which obviously lived with him all his life, he had to live with the memories of lost friends and witnessing horrors to the likes of which none of us could ever imagine.
    Anyway my main point is this, this man like thousands of others gave his life for his country, in return he asked very little, we offered very little, in retirement he managed on a basic pension, when he needed medical attention like the rest of us he had to wait months on a waiting list, in my book this was not good enough, as a country we should have done more at the time, we should also have provided a good pension and the best medical assistance this country can offer, thousands of people both men and women gave so much and received very little in return.
    I just hope we get it right this time.

  15. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 20, 2007 @ 4:34 pm

    Dear ARB

    Strange isn’t it that the armed forces recruitment ads don’t mention these sad facts. From time to time cases are highlighted in the news and everyone gets an insight into the harsh realities of life for those fighting for their country. Presumably most of them don’t feel they can discuss their experiences with anyone but are expected to fit in to normal life afterwards.

    High profile Generals have recently said their piece on this subject but whether that will change anything remains to be seen …. we somehow doubt it or at most it will be some sort of half measure.

    Incidentally the film Julia was on again last night and just goes to show how the horrors of war can haunt people who may not have been directly involved in the fighting.


  16. Rod said,

    March 20, 2007 @ 6:30 pm

    don’t get me started on this one !
    It makes my blood boil.
    My father was charged aboutr £20 ish for a passport a while ago.

    How the **** they have the neck to say to someone who has fought for his country ‘give us some money so you can prove you belong to this country’ I’ll never know.

    Anyone having seen active service should receive higher pensions than others and preferential treatment as and when required.

    Let us never forget what some people have gone through and those who made the ultimate sacrifice just so the likes of us can whine about DVD prices.
    Great post many thanks

  17. Little Brother said,

    March 20, 2007 @ 10:48 pm

    The reason Father was charged was because I wrote to them telling them he was an ‘undesirable’-I said if deportation was out of the question could they at least stiff him for a few quid-an ex Freeman’s payback if you will.

  18. Rod said,

    March 21, 2007 @ 8:45 am

    the loss of the Freeman’s dividend shouldn’t really bother someone like you, after all you are renowned for chucking your money about in a cavalier fashion - especially on DVDs :D

  19. A Retired Bookdealer said,

    March 21, 2007 @ 11:30 am

    fighting for their country - ARB’s daily ramble!
    I think a lot of it is all down to respect, or lack of it, for instance this country on the whole loves to take the glory, but reality and facts seem to get swept aside, for instance when our armed forces returned home after the Second World War, the day they stepped back onto English soil they should have been properly taken care of for the rest of their lives, by care I mean medical, housing, and adequate pensions where needed and every one of them should have been entitle to a pension that actually covers the cost of living in later life, and more.

    After all the generation that did the most for this country, we now look at as our elderly generation, and we do not as a country do enough for them, what would it take for this country to set up some sort of system where every person over a certain age could receive a regular home visit from say a social worker or similar, these visits would make sure all of our elderly received the correct help and care needed, and after these visits should the person need anything to improve their quality of life it should be provided, after all look at the money this country wastes every week, never mind in a year. Surely we could finance such a scheme. I also think once such a scheme was set up the rest of us would feel more at ease as we approach our later years, where at the moment most of us see nothing.
    Anyway I have had my ramble …

  20. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 21, 2007 @ 12:19 pm


    We agree with all you say. On the health and welfare side of things we would suggest local surgeries should have enough district nurses and perhaps appointed doctors who did only home visits and those could link in with social workers. A system that actually works not one of these multi agency arrangements who don’t liaise with each other.

    We could go on …. for instance getting a dentist or a local policeman around here is like getting blood from a stone.

    If only we ruled the world …


  21. A Retired Bookdealer said,

    March 21, 2007 @ 3:09 pm

    If only we ruled the world …
    One day we may, fingers crossed .

  22. Witches of Eastwick said,

    March 21, 2007 @ 7:16 pm


    We have given the formation of our new government some serious thought …. reckon it might work, at least we wouldn’t be anything like our predecessors. For a start the Witches fancy being the Minister responsible for responsible things, as such we would be able to dish out advice to all departments as and when necessary. What we don’t fancy are the meetings with other heads of State and all the fuss that surrounds them …. so we’ll be appointing a Minister of Charisma to do all that … any thoughts on who we might have? We won’t be moving to Downing Street either … we shall run the country or rather our department, from the spare room and weekly cabinet meetings from our Philosophy Group headquarters on a Tuesday, where tea and buns will be exchanged for sound government policy.

    WoE (The Rt. Hon. MRFRT)

  23. Nigel said,

    June 21, 2008 @ 5:11 am

    At the other end of the scale, I paid Australian$75.30 (GBP 36.37 at today’s exchange rate) to import a Casino Royale Limited Edition Poker Pack 2 Disc Set for Father’s Day 2007, and I think he’s watched it once, and never used the poker set. Of course, it is a ltd ed, and therefore, highly collectible! ;)

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