Observations from a Visitor to Cleethorpes
Cleethorpes seems to be turning into Goldeneye’s second, but not spiritual home.
A glorious sunny day and being free from any tiresome obligations meant the seaside once again beckoned.
Clearly, I was not the only one inspired in this way, visitors abounded, mostly from the venerable county of Yorkshire it seems. Your host was left feeling a little like a sore thumb though as nobody informed me of the prerequisite dress code. I have, of course, heard of dress codes in restaurants and clubs but not entire towns!
If this is something official and done in conjunction with the local authorities I wonder just how much Lonsdale paid for the concession - whatever the sum it was clearly a wise business decision as every other person appeared to be clad in a Lonsdale tracksuit or part of one.
As an aside, I am always confused as to why those who appear never to take any form of physical exercise insist on wearing sports clothing 
:
Everywhere I walk everyone appears to be walking towards me. This seems to indicate I have either:
-
A: Some form of mental problem, a cross between agoraphobia and paranoia !
B: I seem to always head in the opposite direction to everyone else !
As this tidal wave of ………edited for good taste…………. flowed endlessly toward me I saw one beacon in the shuffling, overweight, shoulder hunched crowd.
A gentleman who appeared to be in his eighties. Slim and walking perfectly upright, despite the need for a walking stick, dressed in a lovely blue blazer and resplendent in an immaculate white panama hat he was both a credit to himself and his generation !
A clearer example of how this country is swirling down the pan could not be imagined.
One moment of high excitement was standing on The Greenwich Meridian Line. Exactly 0 degrees longitude.
At this point I should interject and strongly recommend reading Longitude by Dava Sobel and learn more about the struggle of a brilliant man who still deserves more recognition - John Harrison.
The Meridian Line may seem a little dull to most but I have seafaring blood coursing through my veins, or so I’m told. Add to this my new potential, but brief, career as Deputy Captain on a large ocean going ship you’ll readily understand why such nautical themes set the Goldeneye nostrils flaring.
I walked some distance, from the pier all the way to the yacht club and back, enjoyable, healthy and invigorating - why more could you want ? - Plenty probably 
For those of you who crave Hot Chick , © Goldeneye, reports the news was bad(ish) - few and far between, arguably non-existent in fact. If this is your bag, don’t let this put you off Cleethorpes. The hottest girls are nocturnal, so of an evening there are more Hot Chicks than you can shake a stick, or anything else for that matter, at, or so I am led to believe by those still playing that game.
Sooooo, to round up this exercise in verbosity, do we recommend a visit ? - well yes we do, if you live within reasonable travelling distance.
In fact, such is the draw of the tang of sea air, your host began to consider buying one of the ‘luxury seafront apartments’
This gave me something to pontificate upon whilst ambling around.
What was my conclusion ?
Would I buy one ……………. ?
Well, yes I would !
If only they were a third of the price and overlooking a secluded cove in the Mediterranean
the dinosaur said,
April 18, 2007 @ 7:17 pm
Cleethorpes again, reminds me of another funny story from the time when I had a bookshop there. A large Yorkshireman walked in the shop and asked if I had any books by Mary Cookson? I said I had never come across an author called Mary Cookson but I thought he must mean Catherine Cookson (at the time the most popular author). His emphatic reply was “no no it’s definately Mary Cookson , she writes romances, they’re for the mother-in-law sat outside” he indicated to a very cross looking elderly lady sat in a wheelchair who was glaring at him through the shop window- he then added loud enough that she could hear “although what she wants with romance at her age I do not know?” He never did buy her a book- no Mary Cooksons!
Rod said,
April 18, 2007 @ 7:28 pm
Dino
little seems to have changed over the years.
Though I wonder if romance is still alive and well in the frozen north ?
Cleethorpes could be the precursor for almost as many tales as Once Upon a Time
Today I saw a large* Yorkshire lady say to her large* yorkshire boy “are you ready for an ice cream yet ?”
He was only half way through what appeared to be a trough of fish and chips at the time !
* for large read fat !
A Retired Bookdealer said,
April 18, 2007 @ 11:52 pm
Hello All ,
Everywhere I walk everyone appears to be walking towards me.
Interesting one this, I often feel the same, but I will return to this later. Regarding the dress code in Cleethorpes, what I have found in the past with most of these coastal resorts such as Skegness, etc, is if you visit the local market you will fine the attire needed to comply with the local dress code, on one of the market stalls for well under a tenner. I can remember being in Skegness a few years ago when pink tracksuits were obviously the buy of the week, needless to say everywhere you looked there was someone in a pink tracksuit.
The walking in the opposite direction to everyone else is interesting, I wonder how many others have experienced the same feeling, you clearly know when you are doing this as people seem to scatter in all directions, and those that don’t bounce off of your shoulders, or clobber you with shopping bags around the knees. My favourite has always been to walk straight towards a gang of youths or drunks, which is an interesting exercise in its self, as they all stick together until the last minute like a pack, and then they move, sometimes if one happens to bounce off of your shoulder they will make a passing comment, but if you acknowledge the comment or just stop and look back they soon move on. There must be some sort of animal instinct involved in this, the lone wolf entering the pack, or some other psychological mumbo-jumbo-claptrap. Could the walking in the opposite direction to everyone else be a sign of confidence - one who is not going to be led by the pack, or maybe even a loner. ” Interesting .
Anyway back to my day, which unlike some involved a degree of work, at approximately 5.30 am I had one of my money making ideas, which I decided by the end of the day would be up and earning. I shall not divulge what this latest earner is, only the fact that I thought it would only cost £300 to set it all up. Anyway off I went to get the materials and tools needed for this latest venture, all of which though specialist were found with ease, via the Yellow pages. Sadly though not at £300 as budgeted, £500 had to be spent, well beyond budget, but as this is such a good idea, “or so I thought”, I parted with the money. All I have to do now is find out how all this new equipment works !. Looks as though I shall be busy.
Anyway that’s enough from me,
ARB.