Jessica Simpson Before and after !
What have Jessica Simpson and myself got in common, besides being internationally famous and adored sex symbols of course ?
You’d never believe it of either of us - were both getting fat 
Regular discerning readers will remember when we brought you that cutting edge artistic piece of work in which Jessica Simpson took on Paris Hilton in a bikini car wash war. Such is the cultural importance of such things I felt you needed an update - well imagine my surprise at the very latest pictures !
Yes it looks as though we are both slacking off and paying the price !
Take a breather dear reader and collect your thoughts at this alarming news !
Winter has taken it’s toll and the Goldeneye washboard stomach is, much like so many other things, not what it once was.
If things continue in this way I could even end up in size 12 jeans
I may write to JS and ask her if she has any size 12s she can no longer fit into 
Thankfully the Goldeneye PR team seems more adept at handling my public profile than JS’s advisors and I’ve been told to keep a low profile in order to avoid pictures of your bloated host appearing in the tabloid press 
They certainly wouldn’t have allowed me to make a stage appearance a la the Dukes of Hazzard star 
Perhaps thos e boots that were made for walking should be donned again for a bit more walking !
Please don’t worry untowardly about me as I’m sure I can get back to my finely chiselled Adonis like figure in no time at all - perhaps JS and I can do a joint celebrity diet and exercise DVD !
All the best
Fat Rod !
Before !!
Rod Collins Before !
Jordan said,
January 27, 2009 @ 9:42 am
RC
So were is the “After” picture of yourself?
Also, who on earth is JS stylist?! They need their P45 instantly!
Jordan
Rod said,
January 27, 2009 @ 10:00 am
Jordan,
Also, who on earth is JS stylist?!
That’s what I thought, a style (if you can use that word) car crash !
Sponsored by Matalan-Primark-Walmart presumably
So were is the “After” picture of yourself?
No wide angle lens jordan
I’ll have to get my brother to take some new shots - his all singing and dancing set up has ‘full frame’ (whatever that means) so he may be able to get me in shot !
Cheers
Rod