I Forgot Valentine’s Day ~ You Must Be a Man
I forgot Valentine’s Day
Well, I guess that must mean you’re a man - I too forgot about it but thankfully there’s no repercussions for me
Covering Valentine’s Day has become something of a site tradition now so it’s only right and proper to continue - after all what do the British do if they don’t do tradition ?
Thankfully, your host need make no plans for the big day nor deploy any of the Goldeneye Shekels I hold so dear on second-rate meals, first-rate- lingerie or bloody flowers !
OK the lingerie bit is a shame but the rest . . .
Valentine’s Day is all about love - the red roses and hearts are everywhere - personally, I think my heart would break if I had to buy a dozen red roses
I’ve never in my life bought a dozen red roses - perhaps I should check and see what they cost at this time of year - shudder.
I considered the possibility of regaling a fair damsel by playing my guitar whilst she stood and looked longingly, or even wistfully, at me from a balcony above
The practical problems outweighed the romantic dream though. I’m not sure whether it’s safe to stand under a balcony with the average British Girl on 
I also have doubts about the romantic quality of the song I would play
I next considered whisking away a foxy chick for a romantic jaunt to Paris
The idea has merit, if a little clichéd, but of course it involves foreign doings !
I can’t imagine any good coming of that nor do I think it would be safe to walk into Paris wearing my new Sabaton: Panzer Battalion hoodie - the city is likely to surrender to me
All that seems to point to only one thing - a mercifully quiet weekend !
It is perhaps a shame and I imagine many single and unmarried people will be down this Sunday on Valentine’s Day 
I’ll just have to try and find some meagre crumbs of cold comfort in the knowledge that nobody can take my house or my money from me 
You’ll note there’s no Lucy Pinder type picture to illustrate this article this year 
Was that a mistake - should I have had a gratuitous picture of a stunning Valentine’s Day model ?
To me the post seems to have something missing without it but then . . . who knows . . . you decide.
I hope you didn’t forget the big day and, if it affects you, that you have a fantastic day
Romantically Yours
Rod
Cid said,
February 13, 2010 @ 5:57 pm
Rod,
You’re doing yourself no favours with this honest guide to romance…. what woman is going to read it and jump for joy at the prospect of a hot date with NFR (no flowers Rod). An elderly gentleman once said to me that he wished he’d bought his wife flowers while she was alive….. not much point afterwards. Looking at a painting in a gallery is joyful but you can’t keep it…. buying a few flowers doesn’t cost much (we’re not talking red roses here… besides there are better choices with better fragrance quite often) but no end of people seem to love them, all ages and both genders…. look at Little Brother and his white lillies, now there’s a stylish man. If not for a girlfriend, then for your fabulous Mother.
I realise that I’m wasting my time telling you this but heaven forbid you should reach a grand old age and regret it…… speaking of old age, wonder what the Coxeman thinks to all this romance…. bit like a bus-man’s holiday to him presumably
As for ‘foreign doings’ …. I wouldn’t worry too much, at your age a steady stroll along the well lit streets of Paris is safe enough (avoid the back streets, there lurks the kind of trouble a regular church goer like you ought to steer clear of
)
Cid
p.s. here’s a tip for every man, don’t be caught in a florist shop asking for ‘any cheap flowers’ while your wife’s friends are in ear shot…. I can’t look at the man in question without those words reverberating in my memory
Amiguru said,
February 13, 2010 @ 6:34 pm
Cid,
Don’t encourage him to go abroad; after all, he might like it in Paris and be tempted to change his name to Rodin and become a thinker, discretely consulting his Collins Dictionnaire Français. Always hazardous for a man in his prime as instead of turning into the Rue he may turn into a roué.
N
le
Rod said,
February 13, 2010 @ 7:24 pm
Cid,
I think it unlikely any woman reading this will fall for my charms - I ruined any chance of that happening by having my picture at the top
As to flowers - don’t get me wrong - I know they work !
Just as colonic irrigation does - I just don’t find the idea appealing !
An elderly gentleman once said to me that he wished he’d bought his wife flowers while she was alive
Can’t argue with that.
As to The Coxeman - perhaps it’s time I rattled his cage again ?
Wickedly Yours
Rod
As to my brother wasting his money buying flowers for my mother (something my father delights in pointing out to me) he’s wasting his time !
As I understand the terms of the will it’s a 50/50 split so ultimately there is no gain or pecuniary advantage
Cid said,
February 14, 2010 @ 10:48 am
Neville,
Hope you’ve been exercising your iambic pentameter this morning ….. something tells me Rodin the Thinker Collins (he’s sounding more like a gangster ) is probably exercising his transglobal boots on the great plains of Wybers national safari park before cadging a first class luncheon at Mother’s
Cid
p.s. is a roué a sauce made with butter and flour?
Cid said,
February 14, 2010 @ 11:04 am
Rod,
I ruined any chance of that happening by having my picture at the top … yes, well we did advise against that, still onwards with our plot to marry you off to the highest short sighted bidder
Cid
Amiguru said,
February 14, 2010 @ 12:27 pm
Cid,
“p.s. is a roué a sauce made with butter and flour?” - Well if Messieur LaRod’s ruses en France are considered saucy, or should I say crème anglaise, then absolutely, that takes the biscuit, (even if it is only half-baked). For the purposes of discussions on this thread, perhaps our host should be referred to as ‘Roddy La Roux’. Acceptez vous?
N
le
Lindi lou said,
February 14, 2010 @ 1:54 pm
U don’t change Rod and that’s a good thing! I didn’t 4get the big day but it seems a little sad buying oneself flowers especially at this weekend’s over inflated price. Bought my paper, made a coffee and nursed my hangover. Happy Valentines day!
Little Brother said,
February 14, 2010 @ 3:18 pm
Rod,
If they’ve told you we’re getting 50/50 then it’s because they want some electrical work doing
LB
Rod said,
February 14, 2010 @ 5:20 pm
LB
If they’ve told you we’re getting 50/50 then it’s because they want some electrical work doing
Very good
But remember, if you get the house, careful when you plug anything in
Rod
Rod said,
February 14, 2010 @ 5:22 pm
LL,
your better off nursing a hangover than lamenting the cost of flowers - far less painful
Cheers
Rod
Cid said,
February 15, 2010 @ 4:48 pm
Neville,
‘Roddy La Roux’. Acceptez vous? …. well we haven’t seen his legs (thank goodness) but with a bit of effort I don’t see why not. We may have trouble if he insists on wearing his guitar on top of his music hall frock but I reckon his unique qualities could earn us a small fortune if we ‘manage’ him well
Cid
Emma S said,
February 16, 2010 @ 4:13 pm
Hey Rod,
I decided this year to forget Valentines day.
I advised my husband that I really dont want for him to have to buy me flowers on a said day, we already celebrate our anniversary, the day we met, birthdays etc.
Needless to say he was over the moon that he didnt have to go out and get ripped off! (his words haha)
I felt why should we go out buy cards, gifts, go for a meal when the best time to get treated or suprised is when you least expect it! Isnt that what love is about? When your partner thinks about you and goes out of his/her way without being asked or reminded.
Happy non Valentines day
Emma s x
Rod said,
February 16, 2010 @ 7:48 pm
Emma,
I’d agree there - surely an impromptu gift or treat is better, shows somebody really cares and has thought about you rather than simply remembering Valentine’s Day and thinking I’d better get something.
You could start a trend woth you slogan: Happy non Valentines day
Best wishes
Rod