How to Control Your Woman
How to Control Your Woman
A Guest Post by The Coxeman
I’ve had several letters recently from distraught men whose wives and girlfriends are getting out of control. I didn’t sign up to be some kind of Agony Uncle but men out there need my help!
Warning from the site owner:
This guest article may be unsuitable for women and minors
Let’s start at the beginning:
I would strongly recommend any man thinking of taking a woman on permanently to think again!
Once you take on this burden it can be both troublesome and expensive to extricate yourself from.
You will surely live to regret it, even those young men out there who think they know it all and gaze into the eyes of a beautiful young woman - their soulmate !
Stop right there ! Bail out ! Get out of Dodge ! Head for the Hills !
If you don’t, in 5 years time you’ll look across at the sofa one evening at the rapidly expanding and constantly nagging woman and remember my words !
Now, onto those already trapped by cunniving women
-
You need to stamp your authority on her, don’t let things get out of hand.
Ensure you are in charge of all the things that matter. There is no need to bother them with complicated financial matters or anything else important.
Don’t give her too much money (goes straight to their heads)
Don’t buy her a car (mobility = trouble)
Don’t involve her in any decision making process
(except buying new curtains etc)
Encourage domesticity
If you are looking for a guide, look to the 1950s.
Men were men, they were, for the most part, strong and silent - got on with things and brought home the bacon.
The women played their traditional and genetically preordained role. Knew how to keep their mouths shut and their men happy.
Nowadays men are crying, need their wives income as well as their own to survive.
Women no longer cook, yap and nag constantly - even express opinions on world matters.
Men you need to firm now ! Another decade of this and we will all be emasculated
To deal with a few specific people who have written in:
David from Exeter
David, you have brought all this on yourself. Marrying a ‘careerwoman’ what did you expect.
There is no hope for you, nothing I say will save you in your situation, I can only suggest divorce or the cowards way out - either way, life as you know it is over.
Patrick from Cornwall
You have let your live-in girlfriend walk all over you. From what you say I can only conclude that you are either a so called reconstructed man or a closet homosexual.
In Conclusion:
I may need to return to certain points and flesh them out in greater depth but you should get the overall idea gentlemen.
Having a woman is a bit like owning a dog.
They can provide you with loyalty, companionship and pleasure but ..
You need to train them from day one, let them know who the master is.
As with canine training, it is very difficult to do this in the later stages, they become ill-disciplined and when they slip their leads all hell can break loose
You have been warned
Keep it Up
The Coxeman
witches of Eastwick said,
August 11, 2006 @ 10:42 am
Mr Damon
Owning a dog is a bit like living with a man ….. they require constant attention and eat everything going, thus requiring a 24hr chef and then expect us to clean up after them. They don’t take instruction well and tend to take up too much room on the sofa. Careful thought should be given before taking on a dog. Little or no thought should be necessary with regard to taking on a man …… separate kennels = harmony. Men, on the whole, are too busy choosing carnations to worry about anything else. If it’s dog training you want, seek expert advice. If it’s husband/boyfriend training you need, ask the Witches, they’ll have something to say on the subject.
None of this applies to the nice Mr Collins, he is always well groomed and a dab hand at macaroni cheese.
The Coxeman said,
August 11, 2006 @ 11:09 am
WoE, I’m all for the separate kennels, the only problem is,
The man would be expected to pay both both kennels !
Anyhoo, I see myself more of a rampant bull than a dog
The site owner is a nancy-boy !
I’d bet a grand he uses moisturizer !
Keep it Up !
Rod Damon
Tee said,
August 12, 2006 @ 4:57 am
hahahaha….you are hilarious!! You are living in an idealistic western world if you think you can possibly get away with that…maybe in the Eastern half of the world, so how about you start packing & just move there?! Find yourself a nice gal in a burka! Men are afraid that they will be “emasculated”?!….oh well! Learn how to accept a woman speaking and bringin home the bacon too. That doesnt mean you are less than a man should be, it means more money in YOUR pocket, since you dont have to hand over your paycheck to your woman - as men did in the 1950’s..take the good with the bad. Men have small brains and retain less memory, so women are forced to NAG at times…how can you avoid her naggin? do what she says and do it right, and all will be well.
Rod said,
August 12, 2006 @ 9:17 am
Hi Tee
thanks for the comment, I quite agree with what you say, in fairness to our guest poster The Coxeman, he is stuck in something of a time warp and I believe he quite believes the things he says
He is an incorrigible male chauvinist though
All the best Tee
Rod Collins
(not to be confused with Rod damon)
Ursula said,
August 13, 2006 @ 11:16 am
Dear Tee
Granted Mr Damon is a little retro but he is a man and has his uses, (although shorter than I thought he would be!). My washing machine has never functioned so well!!! His international plumbing service is legendary …. he can order spares in morse via his medallion on a clear day. Urs