How Many True Friends Do You Have
This post originated as a comment from our regular poster A Retired Bookdealer.
It merits it’s own thread so I hand you over to him:
Written by regular poster A Retired Bookdealer.
Hello All ,
Firstly I would like to wish you all a Very Happy and Prosperous New Year.
Well here we are again 2007, another year and more thoughts and quandaries to ponder on .
Well here I go, once again changing the theme of the comments already posted.
While having a telephone conversation a few days ago, I began to think.
How many real and true friends do we really have ?,
I remember as a child a very old gentleman said to me
” You will be very lucky if you have two real friends in life”,
This was bought back to me forty-plus years later during this telephone conversation, when it was pointed out to me
the time, effort, patients and friendship someone has given to someone very close to myself, in fact the things they have done
have made a dramatic and very noticeable difference to this persons quality of life and personality,
this person who in turn does, I am sure in there own way return respect and thanks.
Anyway all this has touched me deeply, and for a few days I have been giving it some deep thought.
How does one ever repay an act of kindness, do we really give thought or notice what our friends do for us, do we take our friends for granted,
or do we not realise that we do have true friends and not just passing acquaintances or people we have a pint with on a Friday night.
I certainly think its food for thought especially as we all have friends, loads of friends - but do we, stop and think as we go through life
Is that old line
” You will be very lucky if you have two real friends in life”, … True ?.
I have been very lucky in life and do realise what my true friend-friends
have done for me and still do,
I also have large depts of friendship and kindness, which i hope one day I can pay , if I ever can.
Food for thought my Friends …….
The Retired Bookdealer.
Rod said,
January 5, 2007 @ 5:22 pm
RB
a superb post !
I too have had many acquantances throughout life but true friends ?
I shall never forget an offer my friend made to me once, still sticks with me, always will.
Real so called ‘debts’ can probably never be repaid, but then in these circumstances they need not be.
Being there for someone, if needed, is all anyone need do.
Regards
Rod
Little Brother said,
January 5, 2007 @ 6:45 pm
Rod,
Bloody hell!-just logged on before I treat the ladies of Lincoln to my visual delight-now I’m depressed! Actually I’m not because I’ve just lifted 390lb for eight reps!
You’re right about true friends, when you’ve gone through a bad patch it is interesting to note how many are actually ‘there for you’ after it all dies down-not many.
Cheers!
LB
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 5, 2007 @ 7:02 pm
ARB,
An interesting question and one the Witches dwell on a great deal. Bonds of friendship sometimes just happen don’t they, when like-minded people get together, no real work needed. However some friendships do take time to ripen. Over the years only a small percentage of those will be lasting and meaningful. Women generally find the notion of making friends very important and will work hard at keeping them … they need the closeness and confidantes that some men find unnecessary.
Looking back through the decades we wonder now was it worth all that work? We find ourselves telling the younger generation to see things for what they really are and that some people will never give as much as they take. If you don’t mind, then great … if on the other hand it’s not ok, then do something about it. Until the chips are down, it’s not always easy to see who your real friends are and whether they enhance your life or drag you down.
The Witches have hundreds of excellent friends, due mainly to vast age and bribery! Our latest book, Are Your Chums Worth the Effort, comes with a free set of 3-D specs so you can spot a worthwhile victim a mile off …….
WoE
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 5, 2007 @ 7:11 pm
LB,
Have a good night out, we’re sure it is well deserved. We would be interested to hear what you think of this new jazz bar in Lincoln and wonder if, in future it would be a suitable joint for the Witches. Please take into account our great age and dislike for extra loud music that prohibits conversation!
WoE
Rod said,
January 5, 2007 @ 7:14 pm
WoE
real friends need no cultivating, attention or effort, they are just there - hence the rarity.
I think men have very different forms of friendship than women do - I don’t say they are better or worse - just different
There will always be a barrier for me, and that is the third of the
Goldeneye Maxims for a Successful Life
#3: Everybody Lets You Down
Little Brother said,
January 5, 2007 @ 7:23 pm
WoE,
Might be going there-I think I know the lady who owns it. If its full of blokes tapping their bar mats along to some dixie then I’m off to a different kind of jazz bar!
LB
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 5, 2007 @ 7:31 pm
Rod,
Could you remind us of #1 and #2 …….
Rod said,
January 6, 2007 @ 8:31 am
WoE
certainly, they are oft quoted by me so apologies to those who know me if this sounds repetitious.
The complete guide to a successful life, all you need to know,
1: Be the first up and the last in bed (metaphorical, obviously)
2: Unless buying a house, never spend more than half of what you’ve got
3: Remember this, above all else, everybody lets you down !
Regards
Rod
Little Brother said,
January 6, 2007 @ 1:08 pm
WoE,
Just for you I went to the Lincoln Jazz Bar and now wish I hadn’t. We were the only ones in there apart from the jazz trio who were warming up for the other two customers who arrived at 8.45. As the beer pipes had been cleaned earlier in the week the bar staff decided to wait until we arrived before pulling any beer off. After ten minutes of waiting for the beer to come through properly the barmaid then sprayed us with the postmix lemonade. The venue is nice enough and I am sure it would be good with more than four people, there were small bowls of snacks at the side of the bar which I thought would be handed out to the guests as a little nibble until I watched the bar staff eat them. After two pints of rank beer (the doorman agreed) we moved on to Dogma-a lively bar with good beers and a remarkable amount of young women.
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 6, 2007 @ 2:17 pm
LB,
Thanks for trying …… shocking about the nibbles though, we will pen an angry letter! Dogma we’ve heard of but can’t remember why or indeed, where it is. Sounds like a joint for young singles so it’s doubtful the Witches would be allowed in, we are seen as a threat to the pretty young things.
One more thing LB, if you’re out with the boys where would you choose to eat? We hear tales of eateries opening up like the Brazilian but not many of the coven are able to report back to base …. too busy in the construction industry these days. Should the pack of Witches require an escort/body guard to show them the delights of Lincoln, we will call you (you’ll be reaching for the disguise then me thinks!).
WoE
Little Brother said,
January 6, 2007 @ 2:27 pm
WoE,
You will need to speak to SC about having a Brazilian!
I would reccomend either of the Thai restaurants, they are very good.
I shall now finish cooking my tagine of octopus which I am hoping will be the perfect tonic for a rather ferocious hangover.
LB
Rod said,
January 6, 2007 @ 2:44 pm
a Brazilian
Back to the topiary again
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 6, 2007 @ 2:53 pm
LB,
Just had a thought …. before Rod gets in on the act, should we have a quick tour of all the Heritage Centres this side of the county? There could be more hot chicks available than you could shake a stick at. Your brother is unlikely to travel that far so it’s all yours.
The Witches are out partying tonight ….. the one night of the year when most of the coven are out together, likely to be masses of people there dressed up and enjoying first class nibbles. If we should spot any single women under pensionable age, we will take note and pass on their details. As per Rod’s handbook, we will casually ask whether they are house owners, have all their own teeth and carefully judge percentage of wits.
WoE
Little Brother said,
January 6, 2007 @ 2:57 pm
WoE,
If you can fix me up with an ample witted hottie that will make up for the Lincoln Jazz Bar disaster. As our great leader once said I am nothing if not shallow!
LB
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 6, 2007 @ 4:38 pm
LB, some have said in the past that our version of a ‘hottie’ is debatable …… you may have to give us a list of requirements. We’ll take it as read that wits are a must. WoE
Little Brother said,
January 6, 2007 @ 5:29 pm
WoE,
As a wise old sage once told his apostles (Rod and I), My needs are simple, here’s my list of requirements:
1. Kylie with her sister’s wits
er..that’s it.
LB
Little Brother said,
January 6, 2007 @ 5:39 pm
Rod,
I’m sure you’re dying to know if the octopus tagine cured my hangover before you cook it yourself. Well, don’t bother, it didn’t.
LB
Rod said,
January 6, 2007 @ 6:29 pm
LB
I specially bought an Octopus today ready to try out my newly acquired tagine - bugger!
As to hangovers, you need more practice - I am never bothered by them - but I am indestructable though
Rod
Little Witchlet said,
January 8, 2007 @ 12:54 am
ARB
Back to the old autograph book again:
Time passes, ways divide,
And friends must sever.
What matter, Friendship true, is,
Friendship ever.
3rd July 1919
You kind of know, don’t you? I mean those who will be there for you. After the last shitty year, it turned out to be far more than I realised - isn’t it great how fantastic people can be?!!
How do we repay a kindness, do we take our friends for granted? - a friend once said that she takes it as a real compliment when someone asks her to help them, inferring a true acknowledgment and trust in her friendship. That feeling of trust and the faith placed in her is her greatest thanks - of course, the occasional bunch of flowers and pack of San Miguel is always well received!!
Self doubt and self-criticism occur frequently when I dwell on this subject!
Thank heaven for friends!
A pensive Little Witchlet
Rod said,
January 8, 2007 @ 12:52 pm
LW
when all is said and done you’re really only left with friends and memories.
Family you don’t get to choose and anything you have will one day go
The passage of time seems to alter the meaning of many things in my mind.
Things once deemed important now seem insignificant and things I once ignored and cared nothing for become matters of great import.
Best
Rod
Little Witchlet said,
January 8, 2007 @ 5:24 pm
“You’re really only left with friends and memories” - pretty good then really..and if family are friends too….that pretty much ties up friendship…or does it? Of course there is the lover/friendship issue but that’s a whole different story!!
Rod said,
January 8, 2007 @ 5:55 pm
LW
You’re telling me it is - what a game !
As you allude to, as human beings we probably need several types of friends.
Family, male, female, lover, casual, ‘best-friend’ etc
I live on my own and pride myself on not actually needing anybody at all.
That said, there are some people in my life who enrich it tremendously and whilst I could live without them I should not want to.
Whilst I have always enjoyed my own company and have never felt lonely, I can imagine little worse than being bereft of friends or a companion if you are someone who feels lonely or is alone.
feels lonely or is alone I make that distinction as you can be surrounded by people and still be alone !
Best
Rod
Little Brother said,
January 8, 2007 @ 6:05 pm
Rod,
Re enrichment of your life-glad to be of service!
LB
Rod said,
January 8, 2007 @ 6:30 pm
LB
you’re welcome - where would I be without you ?
Oh I know…….. I’d have to buy GQ myself
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 8, 2007 @ 8:24 pm
Rod,
As you have mentioned, you pride yourself on not needing anyone and one of your maxims …. never spend more than 50% of your earnings, clearly says you are in control. To need someone is risky and might render that person out of control…… do we all choose or is it in the genes?
There have been times when we have felt out of control, didn’t like it so actively changed our attitudes towards certain things in life. Having children can spoil all that but learning to deal with their needs is grounding and encourages empathy.
Of course it could be said of the Witches that the wearing of bright orange or day-glow yellow hosiery has never phased us, or outrageous hats for that matter. Confidence should not be confused with being in control.
Friendships knit the whole thing together, without them we might unravel ….
WoE
p.s. LB, we lost control of our crepe pan tonight …. is that a sackable offence?
Little Witchlet said,
January 9, 2007 @ 12:33 am
WoE
You had crepes without me?! And I thought I was your friend! I shall expect extra!
Your scatty Little Witchlet
hugh hollowell said,
January 9, 2007 @ 4:19 am
a good friend will bail you out of jail (gaol).
a great friend will be in the cell with you, saying “Damn, that was fun!”
Little Brother said,
January 9, 2007 @ 7:48 am
Witches,
re crepe pan………YOU’RE FIRED!
LB
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 9, 2007 @ 9:02 am
Little Witchlet
As you can see we’ve been fired by LB so we’ll have to use our ingenuity to secretly produce the crepes. Remember your morse Witchlet? -.-.
That’ll be the sign for the covert crepe operation. We’ll outsmart him using only mortal methods …… bet you wish you’d been fired from the kitchen?!
WoE
Rod said,
January 9, 2007 @ 9:08 am
WoE
To need someone is risky and might render that person out of control…… do we all choose or is it in the genes
I have chosen the life I lead, not sure how many people do that.
Many seem to just go with the flow and end up where they end up.
The easiest thing to do is buy a castle in Scotland, with a moat and drawbridge !
I have always fancied that idea and a few years ago it was financially possible to do - although not particularly sensible.
Possibly I should have hidden away when I had the chance !
Best
Rod
Rod said,
January 9, 2007 @ 9:09 am
Hugh
that, to me , sums it up perfectly !
Nice one
Take it steady
Rod
Little Witchlet said,
January 9, 2007 @ 8:10 pm
Rod, is it too personal to ask if it is a good choice? Actually I guess a question like that kind of over simplifies life! I would not change the dominant parts of my current life - only the peripheral bits!
WoE, I’m sure comfort food, such as crepes, would help me to deal with most peripheries!!
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 9, 2007 @ 11:30 pm
LW,
So say womankind …. tis men that drive us to it, they talk such crepe sometimes! WoE
Rod said,
January 10, 2007 @ 9:42 am
LW
Rod, is it too personal to ask if it is a good choice?
There’s no need to worry about personal questions LW, especially given my recent posts, fire away !
It is not an ideal choice LW, but probably, on balance, the safest!
There is a price to pay for the life we choose though.
You mention not changing the main parts in your life, pretty much the same here.
Some of the bits one might want to alter could be the price of the main parts - therefore have to be expected and accepted.
After all - who gets it all ?
Regards
Rod