How Long Should I Look for Mr Right
How long should a woman spend looking for Mr Right ?
An open ended question one imagines and I suspect many women would say the search never ends !
It seems there is a time to stop though . . .
If you’ve not found the man of your dreams (see picture for a depiction of the ideal man) by the time you reach 30 years of age then it’s best to give up and settle for second best - abandon the idea of your perfect partner.
That’s the harsh reality according to latest sources.
It seems that after a woman reaches 30 then her prospects do not improve, on average, so it’s best to go with what you’ve got or the best you can find !
The research brought to light some very interest facts. Single women between 30-40 years of age were asked what they wanted most in life.
The two most popular answers were:
to be thinner or to have a better job / more money
Interestingly, when polled anonymously, i.e. not face to face, by far the most popular answer was to be married and have a family
It seems to dismiss the idea that the modern career woman is no longer interested in settling down.
A number of issues were cited as contributing to the difficulty in finding the right man.
Sheer numbers looking: I wrote a while ago that statistically most women are single now
Also unrealistic ambitions: (cited by female researchers it has to be said) with many wanting things they’ll simply not get.
Ageing: once passed 30 the chances of a woman finding a husband or permanent partner begin to drop massively and that rate gets worse with every year that passes
An interesting and oft quoted response from single women was; any man that was any good and available was scared of committing - those that would happily commit weren’t worth having !
We’ve written about the lack of real men before. A big factor is also men’s perception of divorce I believe.
In researching some of this it was interesting that I continually came across information regarding women wanting the right man to settle down with but seldom did I see men complaining about being unable to find a wife - could it be that the old cliché of men being less keen on marriage than women is true ?
I suspect the average man tends to be more circumspect and will ‘make do with his lot’ as it were.
Most of the things I came across made absolute sense, the only thing I disagreed with was the old chestnut of women’s ages.
I don’t hold with the perception of women being passed it at a certain age - many look passed it at 16 whilst some look fabulous at 50 !
It all made interesting research and reading leaving me with the overriding feeling that it is a genuine issue for women and one that’s growing.
Any comments or opinions on anything related to this are welcomed
All the best
Rod
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Emma S said,
January 27, 2010 @ 6:36 pm
Hi Rod,
I am so pleased you picked this topic! I am nearing 30 and am having somewhat of a midlife crisis!!
).
Not with looking for Mr right, just about my age in general and am I still attractive? If my husband left me and I was on the wrong side of 30 would I find someone?
Just the other day I sat and started to take stock of my life and the men that have played a big part in it (or lack of!), I realised that for those early years I did not have a list, and basically roamed from one bad relationship to another and only remembered what not to look for!
I didnt have a time scale, and really did not want one, I was under the illusion that things will happen when they happen and you should not go looking for a relationship/marriage to eagerly as you will not see the bigger picture of exactly what you are going to end up with!
What a load of nonsense!
To find a great man that ticks all the boxes you in turn need to tick all the boxes! I found that I needed to work harder at relationships and that I had to have a plan that I shared with my new beau, that he was also going to participate in, obviously that didnt mean I pulled out a list on the first date and started realing off likes and dislikes (this happened in the 2nd week
At 27 I did make a list, I still have it, and I have to tell you some of those boxes are still not ticked, but as long as my husband and me are at least working towards them and he knew what I desired from the start, then I am happy with my marriage and choice (when he does help around the house No 6 on list).
And if I where single again I would make a new list and would most probably get the guy to do one aswell, why should it be only women with all the expectations! And why do men just put up with thier lot, maybee if they had lists women might work a bit harder on themselves to be the woman of his dreams!
Great blog as always
Emma x
Rod said,
January 27, 2010 @ 6:58 pm
Hi Emma,
now that’s a great comment !
This I thought hit the nail on the head
To find a great man that ticks all the boxes you in turn need to tick all the boxes!
I think the age thing is nonsense, I suspect it shows in statistics simply because many people go out less as the get older, socialise less and don’t quite make the efforts in general they once did - hence their ‘chances’ go down.
I think it’s about the person not the person’s age
This goes both ways as well, I remember listening to a guy once complaining that his wife wasn’t interested in sex anymore - you simply had to take one look at the state of him . . .
He looked and behaved like a slob then seeks to blame his wife !
I don’t think anybody ever gets everything Emma - the key is, just as you say, to make sure the key elements are there and to keep working at it
You find find, or keep, a husband/wife/partner without making an effort.
Thanks again Emma
All the best
Rod