Rod Collins

Are you confused with modern life, do you have a dilemma and need help from a real man’s man?
Then worry not The Coxeman is back and answering some of the Agony Uncle letters you’ve sent in.

A Special Post from Our Guest Contributor Rod Damon

Good morning lesser beings - The Coxeman is Back … and not before time it seems !
I would apologise for the delay in answering the veritable avalanche of letters passed on to me by the site owner but frankly I’ve had better things to do !

Clearly there are plenty of men and women out there much in need of The Coxeman’s unique advice so let’s get straight down to a typical selection of the questions.

Dear Mr Damon,
I’ve been looking out for a wife but have had no success despite allowing over a week to find one. I’m told there are a lot of desperate women out there looking for men like me but I’ve had no success - what’s wrong with me ?
Anonymous - Grimsby

Firstly what the hell do you want a wife for ?
You’re right about one thing though, there are plenty of desperate women out there, it’s marvellous.
I feel like a kid in a sweet shop and to that end I just enjoy the sweets but have no desire to take on the shop lease !
Given the availability of women there is clearly something wrong with you.
I suspect a lack of manliness - how many Man Points do you have ?

Dear Sir,
I am concerned about the levels of immigration in Britain, I’m white with blonde hair and blue eyes but I now see nothing but immigrants around me - does this concern you as an archetypal Englishman
Disgruntled Daily Mail Reader - Kent

You’re an immigrant you moron, descended from those bloody Viking invaders - sod off back to Norway.
We need more immigration in this country. God knows what will happen if we have to rely on the milk sops we are currently breeding

Dear Mr Damon,
I long to find a man I can settle down with but nobody seems interested in me, I cannot understand why this desire to get married has taken over my life - you seem to know a lot about women please help !
Sally - Bowness

If men aren’t interested in you then you’ve probably let yourself go, a common problem in this country, one of the reasons I prefer foreign girls, have you thought about going to the gym instead of the cake shop ?
Don’t worry about being obsessed with settling down and trapping a man - all women are the same it’s a genetic thing I’m told

Help - I feel emasculated.
My wife earns more money than me and it makes me feel less of a man. My doctor has prescribed some medication and told it’s all in my head - is he right ?
Justin - Essex

Given that that you’re clearly not a real man it’s hardly surprising you feel inadequate.
Fancy living off a woman, hang your head in shame. Get a better job and let the little lady stay at home where she belongs

Dear Sir
my two children, both boys, are running riot and I can’t seem to do anything with them. I read your article on child-rearing and thought you might be able to help ?

Lack of discipline that’s what it is. You need to give the pair of them a damn good thrashing.
Then take them out of the state school system, which is run entirely by liberals, feminists, lesbians and politically correct communists, and send them to public school.
This will do one of two things:
1: Make a man out of them
2: Make a homosexual out of them
Either way at least they’ll be able to read and write and support themselves in later life, something which is beyond the reach of state education it seems

Dear Mr Damon
my husband has taken to wearing my clothes - should I worry
Vera - Gosport

I get a lot of letters about this …
You certainly should worry, this is a slippery slope. The owner of this site has taken to wearing women’s jeans and look where that’s got him. Ditch him and get a real man.

Dear Rod Damon
as an international counter agent and adventurer have you ever met James Bond?

Of course not you dolt !
James Bond is a fictional character, the product of someone’s fevered imagination

Mr Damon
you are clearly a misogynist sexist pig - why do you hate all women and think all men are great?
Cordelia - Bloomsbury

Cordelia
you seem woefully misguided !
I love women and think most men are useless. The majority of men I meet do not deserve the title hence my campaign to bring back all things manly.

I may been around for a bit - ready to comment or offer more profound and straight-to-the-point advice - if you need the Coxeman’s advice, wisdom or help feel free to post a question

Keep it Up !
The Coxeman