Have I Got Swine Flu Or Have I Been Poisoned ?
I am sorry to report that the legendary constitution and rude health or your host has been breached 
The questions is . . .
Have I Got Swine Flu ? or . . . more likely
Was I Poisoned ?
We all know that Swine Flu is Abroad in Lincs and for that matter, women will do anything for chocolate but what we don’t know is . . . did I have to spend most of yesterday in bed because I caught an airborne virus or was it an assassination attempt !
You may think I’m being a little paranoid and that assassination is probably something the likes of me need hardly lose sleep over but that’s because you’re not party to my plans !
I have an idea on the back-burner. I intend to declare the Wybers-Wood-Great-Coates area independent from the UK and annexe the area as an independent nation - of which I shall, of course, be king.
I can give further information of my plans should there be sufficient interest in a separate post.
Now you can see my fears, did somebody find out about my plans and slip a poisonous mushroom into the Goldeneye nosebag ?
It was ever the way in days of yore - how many leaders have been lost to the cowardly machinations of poisoners ?
The whole thing has been extremely inconvenient not to mention tiresome and I venture to suggest would surely have brought about the demise of a lesser man.
Almost all of yesterday was spent in bed and today when I had planned long awaited trip with my brother I’ve had to cancel - more than a little annoying.
Needless to say I’m improving but that doesn’t alter the fact I was slain and there’s potentially a chink in the Goldeneye Armour
I suppose if I intend to pursue my regal ambitions and declare Great Coates and Wybers Wood an independent state free from government control then I’ll have to get used to assassination attempts - perhaps I need a food taster !
Wearily Yours
Rod
Little Brother said,
September 7, 2009 @ 9:02 am
Rod,
Sure it wasn’t a panic attack at the thought of the petrol cost for driving over today?
Just a thought.
LB
chris keyworth said,
September 7, 2009 @ 10:04 am
Tin Foil Hat On
I think it was an atempted assasination Rod somone is not happy that you are photoing there secret installations, by that i mean have you angered the second most powerful entertie in the country THE CHURCH i hear there will be an interesting bonfire night this year on the wybers, the Church are running it and they are looking for a guy to OVERSEE the bonfire, for those interested in the job dont worry you need not apply as THE GOD SQUAD, the churches elite forces, will be knocking on your door shortly. it promises to be a gut wrenching night for the populus, BEWARE HERITICS…………..
Regards
Chris
Rod said,
September 7, 2009 @ 12:36 pm
Chris,
you’ve opened up another avenue of possibilities - being an atheist and visiting innumerable churches is surely asking for trouble - as is photographing military installations - dark forces could be at work
If you hear I had a sudden accident then you’ll know it was not an accident ! !
Conspiratorially Yours
Rod
the dinosaur said,
September 7, 2009 @ 6:34 pm
Rod, I’ve only got one thing to say: bubonic plague?
Rod said,
September 7, 2009 @ 6:58 pm
Dino,
Pustules !!!!
This could be from those bones you warned me about
Perhaps I should listen to others more often - a practise that would serve me well when I’m crowned King Of Wybers
Cheers
Rod
Cid said,
September 7, 2009 @ 7:25 pm
Rod
Needless to say I’m improving really, it’s not immediately obvious, nevertheless we live in hope
Cid
p.s. plenty of sleep, lots of water and nutritious food should do the trick…. you’ll be back to your usual rapier wit in no time. Trust your family have been popping in with edible gifts? Hope you feel better soon. By the way, I was taken with your wonderful shot of the field and tree.
Rod said,
September 8, 2009 @ 6:46 am
Cid,
I am all but fully restored this morning - I’m on record as saying I laugh in the face of illness
I am not quite sure that it was a deliberate act of poisoning in an attempt to dethrone me before I’ve even been crowned.
No shortage of local assistance and offers of nutrition but once again I must remain suspicious . . .
Was the poisoner someone I know ? Or rae they simply trying to curry favour with their soon to be mornarch.
Trying times - it’s little wonder I seek meditative solace in walking in the countryside and taking pictures of trees.
Regallly Yours
Rod
Amiguru said,
September 13, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
My Liege Lord!
May I humbly encourage Your Royal Highness to peruse the accompanying edict in order that One may heartily approve or otherwise the coat-of-arms already submitted for your Royal Estate.
http://www.4crests.com/wyber-coat-of-arms.html
Another consideration Your Royal Highness may wish to make is provision of a line of succession. I ‘umbly nay humbly, submit herewith a harem of 50 princesses for your perusal in order that Ye may go forth and multiply at Your Royal discretion.
http://uk.askmen.com/women/top50/index.html
Wishing you, my Lord wisdom of Solomon in making your choices.
May I ever be in your favour and not go the way of a certain Thomas Cromwell
Lord de Neville
Postum scriptum…
I do a nice line in food tasters…..
Rod said,
September 13, 2009 @ 4:21 pm
Lord Neville,
you shall be, of course, an honorary noble when my plan comes together.
I shall not go the way of Cromwell, fear not, how different might things have been if that bullet fired so near here at The Battle of Winceby had been a few inches higher !
I’m loving the coat of arms and I’d like to find a connection to the area - the name has been in use here for a long time and must have been employed for a reason - especially as it’s uncommon.
As to those 50 women - I’ll take them all - have them washed and brought to my tent
I’m not arrogant enough, yes I really did type that
, to presume permanent regal status.
My actual plan is simply to allow things to settle down - repel and boarders be they from other areas or government forces and once things have settled down there will be an election for who should be King or Queen.
So I present to the world the greatest possible scenario for guaranteed success
A Democratic Dictatorship
Regally Yours
Rod
Amiguru said,
September 13, 2009 @ 5:54 pm
My Liege,
You are most gracious, however tis Thomas Cromwell to whom I did refer. He who did fall out of favour with King Henry-the-Headlopper and met his end upon the green at the Tower on 28 July 1540 :cry
Lord de Neville
Rod said,
September 13, 2009 @ 7:47 pm
Lord Neville,
my apologies - my ability to speed read surpasses my brain’s ability to process information
I don’t think we’ll have any head lopping - don’t get me wrong - I like the idea and would have plenty of people lined up for said tretament - but it’s a bit messy
I think I would simply banish people to The Willows or the like
Cheers
Rod
Amiguru said,
September 14, 2009 @ 5:14 pm
Foresooth My Liege Lord,
Wherrit ye not as to the messiness of the Order of the Lop. May I humbly whisp in the Royal Ear and make the case for appointing a Master of the Mop? Twould then be a case of Chop! Lop! Plop! Mop! Notadrop!
As I have been promised a position of authority in Your Kingdom-to-Come I would respectfully deflect any notion Your Grace may have to appointing me as Master of the Mop.
Many backward withdrawals,
Lord Neville