Sorry to hear of your misfortune

Jordan

That Health & Safety officer is no good, he allows you to get hit by golf balls, planks of wood, roof tiles and wardrobes. You must allow Mother, FF and the Coven crew to be your virtual H&S advisors…. just report in every day and we tell you if what you’re doing is safe. We’ll begin at once….. put down that cigarette, they are definitely off limits and make sure you wear a proper cycling helmet when cleaning the toilet

WoE

Rest assured Health and Safety will now be at the forefront here at Goldeneye Inc.
In fact I intend to appoint a health and safety officer later today to ensure this does not happen again.
As to who the successful candidate will be I cannot say for sure but I suspect it will be the same member of staff who does the accounts and cleans the toilet
Best
Rod

Do you think we have reached the stage where a close up photo of the injured toe is necessary for concerned readers? At least give us a description of colour and degree of discomfort before we launch into our new broken toe advice column.

The aforementioned Coven toe is still painful but the owner soldiers on regardless, no doubt assisted by the various potions slapped on carefully applied initially. Let us hear of no more incidents of this nature, from now on we suggest everyone wears steel toe capped footwear every day… our new ‘capped’ Apollo slippers (a small step for man, a giant leap for our aluminium prototype ) will be out in time for Christmas but don’t wander too close to an induction hob until we’ve ironed out the current problems

WoE

Oh dear, you poor thing
Could we have a photo of the afore mentioned bruised toe, so that we can assess the damage of the not so perfect foot

Take care and hope you are back to your “normal” self very soon

FF
xx

As to the food situation I am being catered for tonight with a meal fit not only for the King of Wybers Wood but also the time of year !
A fine home-made pie and tons of vegetables !
Best
Rod

…. and how is the patient today?

We’re having difficulty picturing you as Brian Potter in Phoenix Nights but the thought of it is keeping out the autumn chill

How careless of us not to have enquired after the condition of the Goldeneye shoe… would the Transglobal boot have saved you? Reminds us of a gift a few years back from one of the Coven inmates… steel toe capped shoes for broomstick learners, how thoughtful and how impossible to pull off in a fashion sense

WoE

p.s. are you coping on the victuals front or should we send our Fortnums van over?