Grow Your Own Broad Beans & Save Your Life
It’s a pretty dramatic headline but I assure you dear reader not one subjected to hyperbole.
Growing your own Broad Bean Really can save your life !
Well it stopped me going under anyway
Yesterday saw me harvest my first ever broad beans and quite fabulous they were too, not only mirabile visu but also a joy to the taste buds as well - but how can they save my life I hear you cry in anguish.
Solace ! That’s how.
If life is getting you down and confusion reigns the simple pleasure of growing, harvesting and cooking your own vegetables can stop you jumping from the Humber Bridge (Southern Side of course 
)
These are the things that are sent to try me and Mithras knows how hard it must be for people who live in the real world.
Attempting to buy hiking books in Lincoln
Me: Have you got a pair of these in 11
Numbnut Shop Assistant: In leather ?
Me: No Eleven - size 11
Numbnut Shop Assistant: I’ll have a look
Enough time elapses for me to require another shave
Then, out she comes carrying a box - excellent thinks I.
Numbnut Shop Assistant: We haven’t got them in 11 but we’ve got these they’re size 9
Thud, Goldeneye collapses.
What kind of alternative is that to bring out. I mean “Have you got one of these in blue”, “No but we’ve got one in green” is an alternative choice. Did she expect me hack off my toes then give her £159 for a pair of boots two sizes too small 
Paying a Credit card Bill in the Bank
Hand over bill and money “can I pay that please”.
Do you have an account with us sir
Only for the last quarter of a century or so
Sorry, I’ve only been here two years
Manager in Entrance of Sainsbury’s Supermarket
Do you have a Nectar card Sir (offering me a form)
No I do not - they’re the work of Satan !
You could save money (after a brief pause to digest my last sentence)
I could save even more by shopping at Asdas !
Email
I’d like to sell an old book, I don’t know what it’s called because it has no covers but I’m sure I’ve seen one like it on The Antiques Roadshow.
Market Researcher
Would you mind if I asked you a few questions sir ? (stopping me walking through town)
I’m sorry I’ve signed the official secrets act
That’s just in a couple of days, I’ve got loads more but the post is already too long
Life Saver
Exhaustedly Yours
Rod
Little Brother said,
July 8, 2009 @ 8:41 pm
Rod,
Fine work fella, love the bean shot, don’t worry about the morons, I get it all the time.
LB
Rod said,
July 9, 2009 @ 7:25 am
LB,
there is an upside to being plagued by half-wits . . . makes you feel a lot smarter
Cheers
Rod
Sue said,
July 12, 2009 @ 5:08 am
I wish I could think of come-backs like that, while I’m in the shop/bank etc! Sadly I’m always on the way out when it occurs to me.
£159 for a pair of boots? Go and ask on Freecycle, and get them for free, and ready softened!
Now to the real point of me commenting…
I have grown my first broad beans this year, and yes they are a life saver, but you have to tell me how you got the pod to open so neatly! Mine land up in at least four pieces! lol
Rod said,
July 12, 2009 @ 8:26 am
Hi Sue,
thanks for the comment much appreciated, welcome to the site and I hope you’ll return.
Sue I’m good at facetious comebacks but unfortunatley useless at absolutely everything else !
Never skimp on footwear Sue ! £150 for such boots is nothing when you boil it down, if they last 3 years then it’s only £1 a week
£1 a week to walk many many miles and protect my feet as well - must be a bargain - I put more miles on my last pair of boots than I did on my car
As to opening, I just pinch the end off that was attached to the plant then press down on the ’seam’ it then starts to open nicely.
I shall be hoovering down another load of them tonight
Cheers Sue
Rod