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Food Standards Agency Warnings Lunacy

This is a guest article written by Our Man in the Kitchen - Over to him.

Warning - Haddock Contains Fish

Yes it’s true Haddock does contain fish. I have to admit I was a little sceptical at first but upon closer inspection I can confirm this to be correct. Another winner from the Food Standards Agency, along with the salted peanuts I bought last week telling me they contained nuts. My job is so much simpler now, I no longer need to ring the butcher and ask if the pork sausages are suitable for vegetarians, nor will I ever open a box upside down because the packaging tells me which way to open it-I thought the clue would be in the writing being upside down but obviously not.
Finally, thanks also to a recent customer who upon ordering asked if his chicken could be cooked through-as opposed to what I asked-me losing my job?
The agony of it.


  1. Rod said,

    April 14, 2007 @ 6:19 pm

    thanks for sending this through, always appreciated and more are welcome.

    Goes nicely with the warning on a Superman Suit:
    Warning this suit will not enable you to fly !

    I bought some tuna from Sainsbury’s and shook my head in disbelief, as did the Checkout Chick, © Goldeneye, when I saw the label.

    Warning this product may contain traces of fish.

    Traces of fish ? I was hoping for a little more than a trace :)
    In fairness though, when I opened the tin and drained the gallon of brine out of it all I was left with was just a trace of fish - so factually correct in this case.

  2. Witches of Eastwick said,

    April 17, 2007 @ 9:02 pm


    Our dinner was fit for a king tonight thanks to your scrumptious curry paste. We added vegetables, plain yogurt, lime juice and some fresh coriander.

    Many thanks,


  3. Little Brother said,

    April 17, 2007 @ 10:54 pm

    A pleasure-a glug of fish sauce wouldn’t go amiss either-did rodent mention the chopped tomatoes?

  4. Rod said,

    April 18, 2007 @ 9:04 am

    I mentioned all the ingredients and several more beside I suspect.
    My own was delicious, if slightly less exotic.

    Cornflower (bought specially on Monday!)

  5. Witches of Eastwick said,

    April 18, 2007 @ 10:46 am


    Next time fish sauce and tomatoes. We can see this would be good with a whole joint of lamb …… also with coconut. Slices of butternut squash and aubergine tempura with sauce and thai rice … jasmine tea ….. yum.


    p.s. haven’t tried it as a face mask/self tan but something tells us it would be sensational !

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