Cleethorpes A Typical Day Out
Today saw Goldeneye going to the seaside!
Due to popular demand I took my camera.
There was more to this than I expected. I bought the camera and have never used it so I had to get it working and downloading pictures to this computer. Thankfully I am computer literate so this only took about 2 hours!
Next problem, where’s the case? After ransacking the house I gave up and improvised.
The high-tec Goldeneye camera bag
The journey to Cleethorpes passed without event, the border crossed, and I soon found myself strolling up Isaac’s Hill and passed this once lovely art deco building
What a waste !
The sun was shinning but there was a mist coming in from the sea, quite what brought about this meteorological situation I cannot say but things around Cleethorpes are not spoiled when shrouded in mist, indeed, greatly enhanced in some cases!
The mist rolling in from the sea - an artistic shot!
The mist in no way put off the beach bunnies for which Cleethorpes is renowned. Bathing beauties were in abundance, as was flesh, which made photography a matter of some discretion, and in most cases good taste. Here we have a
representative example of Baywatch style babes.
The thongs above jeans appear to be a prerequisite
Going down the main slip road one finds oneself with the option of going left or right. The left side appears the less impressive of the two options, unless retro
kitsch is now back in fashion.
The train station is, of course, the hub which brings the visitors flocking in, here is the first sight that greets them
Understandably known as ‘The End of the Line’
At this point I took to the sand, thankfully I came prepared having donned the Henri Lloyd Transglobe boots, given that these were designed for trekking across the Sahara I should be sure of foot.
I knew these would come in handy one day
I soon came across something very reassuring. I was getting more than a little worried that perhaps this area had fallen behind the times and may not appeal to the modern well travelled tourist. Wisely, they have catered for the modern theme park crowd with a series of jaw-dropping breakneck rides
The ride of death - Alton Towers eat your heart out
For those less interested in the world of 21st Century tourism fear not!
The more traditional aspects of a coastal resort have not been forgotten
Cleethorpes Donkeys
All the sea air began to take it’s toll and the old stomach was beginning to protest.
Some sustenance appeared to be the order of the day, but what and where?
I eliminated fish and chips thereby filtering 98% of the establishments out. I was sorely tempted by some ‘fresh’ cockles being peddled from a converted caravan but my nerve failed me last minute, as no doubt my bowels would have done some time after!
I considered dipping my toe into the cosmopolitan world of Cafe Culture, and would have done so had I not, sadly, been sans my copy of La Monde and a
cheroot
Pavement cafe’s alive and bustling along the seafront!
I finally decided to follow the maxim of when in doubt go with what you know, and to that end went off in search of the now legendary Goldeneye Sausage Bun! These have been discussed previously so no introduction is necessary
Please Note: The missing portion equates to one Goldeneye mouthful
Feeling stronger and refreshed I decided, in heroic style, to push on. This took me to what I believe all seaside resorts require, a pier! This is, and has been for some years, a nightclub I believe, I can tell you very little about it, though I did have a fight outside there some years ago! Needless to say your hero emerged victorious and largely unscathed.
Yet another artistic shot - I’m a natural lens man it seems
But a stones throw away, or a short stagger in white stilettos, is Ross Castle. This looks rather nice and I decided I would not take the piss. Sadly further research reveals it is not medieval but a relatively modern fake, so typically in keeping then.
Ross Castle
Like the pier this was also once the the venue for a Goldeneye escapade, I shall go no further except to say I understand it still plays a part in the next phenomenon.
It became very apparent early on what this seasons must have accessory is for the young girls - a pram or buggy! No girl aged between 13 and 25 appeared to be without one. It must be all the sea air.
A stereotypical example
This lead on to a luxury flat development, no don’t laugh! Seafront apartments are desirable the world over. Some of these fetched nearly £300,000 I understand! OK now you can laugh, what a place to live.
This used to be a night club called Dean’s and is famous as the place where I met the former Mrs Goldeneye!
All this talk of nightclubs may lead you to thinking that drinking plays a large part in the social calendar, and you’d be right. I believe it did/does hold the UK record for the greatest concentration of public houses in a square mile.
Talking of records, this pub was once in the Guinness Book of Records for a largest number of pints ever sold in one day! I was actually there that day and did more than my fair share in helping them reach this pinnacle. It looks in need of some redecoration, although the locals seem to have made a start on the pavements, chewing gum and vomit appearing to be the main tools in their
artistic arsenal.
The Dolphin
It was fast approaching the point of timely escape but there was one hitch. I wanted one picture of a real honey to finish the piece off, a real, genuine, 100% hottie! Another lap was required to
fulfil my mission.
Appears only to apply to the canine variety!
I regret to say I failed miserably, this was the best I could manage
So there we go a tourist and visitors guide to Cleethorpes
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The Lincoln Imp said,
June 8, 2006 @ 6:58 pm
Paul Theroux eat your heart out! I knew there was a reason why I left the area and it had nothing to do with a sixteen year old and a pram! Whatever it may look like in the afternoon sun it was the sequins and pearls and all those pretty girls (could be a song) that drove us both to pour vast amounts of hard earned cash down the urinals of the Submarine and Vic-pretty good all in all!
Rod said,
June 8, 2006 @ 7:05 pm
Impy,
I am tempted to do a travel writing series looking at the darker side of things.
I feel I could do for travel writing what Rolf Harris did for Stairway to Heaven!
Funny you should mention wasting money, my thought when walking by the Sub was I wish I could get all the money back I spent in there!
Thanks for taking the time to comment
Lyn said,
June 8, 2006 @ 11:27 pm
Rod, I enjoyed this trip to Cleethorpes, as seen through your eyes, whilst at the same time feeling delighted to be here instead of there. I have come to the perhaps obvious conclusion, given the above, that a trip to St Tropez would be too much for you. I look forward to your next photo-diary, where next? Lyn
Rod said,
June 9, 2006 @ 9:56 am
Lyn,
the trip was slightly disappointing, I had hoped for more material to work with.
I am thinking about a town in Lincolnshire as my next project!
Kitty said,
May 18, 2007 @ 9:26 am
I have a friend here in Australia originally from Cleethorpe, Grimsby and he is crazy as, and what a piss head. He is so delightful and that wonderful accent.
So he comes from a socially economically underprivileged area, well he is still a great bloke with an enormous heritage and we love him here in Australia so when he visits you lot in late May 07 send him back to us Aussie girls cos we love our Einer. XXX
Rod said,
May 18, 2007 @ 1:34 pm
Kitty
thanks for the comment, I’m sure your friend would laugh if he read this
Cleethorpes is great but Australia sounds better.
Rather than sending him back to you Aussie girls tell him to bring a few over with him
Regards
Rod
Elaine Fleet said,
July 2, 2007 @ 10:13 am
Hi, It was nice to see the old places and the sights underline why I left before my daughter became one of your statistics! The views where we are now are much more stunning, New Zealand that is, but there is no history here. That is neither our history, or theirs!
Alan said,
January 25, 2009 @ 8:00 pm
I’m pretty sure a man of your obvious quest for the ‘feel’ of a town would be interested in these snippets about that jewel of the Humber Riviera that is Cleethorpes, see : www.virtualcleethorpes.com.
BTW, Wybers Wood was a posh new estate when I was growing up - are you some kind of meggies snob?
Rod said,
January 26, 2009 @ 9:12 am
Hi Alan
thanks for the comment and welcome to the site.
I commend you on your visionionary thinking - ‘Humber Riviera’
The perfect description imho.
As to Wybers Wood, I’m on record as saying it’s the Begravia of the area, in fact probably the most desirable address in the country outside London’s W1
All the best
Rod
Amiguru said,
September 11, 2009 @ 8:33 pm
Who remembers Johnny Sutherland singing at Taddy’s on Saturday nights in the Sixties?
Ahhhh! The Submarine and The Vic, sweet memories of a mis-spent youth but I’d also like to add The Lifeboat and The Cliff to my personal list of watering holes. Darley’s was reserved for lunchbreaks from my work as an apprentice fitter at Eskimo Foods in Pelham Road, (aka the old tram sheds). Perfectly normal practice then, in fact occassionally I’d join my boss for a game of Russian Billiards over a couple of pints at The Lifeboat; that way I’d get a lift back to work instead of having to catch the, (still trolley buses then I think).
Neville
Rod said,
September 12, 2009 @ 8:32 am
Neville,
the 1960s was just a bit before my time but rather spookily I was very much a regular drinker at “The Sub”
The spooky part being, I too was an apprentice fitter at the time !
Time Servedly Yours
Rod
a. w. smith said,
February 2, 2010 @ 12:30 pm
i have been to this beachon meney times has my relationslived there in 1973
David Atomborough said,
April 1, 2010 @ 2:07 pm
You will be aware of the wilderbeast migration in the Masi mara, however, there is a more frequent migration, lesser known, the migration of the comfors..come ‘f’ day, come ‘f’ van (translates to caravan at the fitties).
Interesting phenomena, come over to feed (to stock up on chip fat - hence the lack of clothing) and venture back to south yorkshire during the week (when the locals tend to come out)
Rod said,
April 1, 2010 @ 2:16 pm
David Atomborough,
thanks for the comment and welcome to the site.
Not only am I aware of the spectacle but have witnessed it myself - on more than one occasion.
I remember once being secreted away behind a refuse bin overflowing with chips wrappers, KFC buckets and Macdonald’s bags, not the most pleasant of spots but it did provide cover in open ground and the odour masked my scent so as not to scare off these rare beasts.
Twas whilst so situated that I heard one say . . . “weave cum tut see whatter”
I’m not fluent in Yorkshire but I believe it means “they’re here for the sea”
All the best
Rod
Sydney Lass said,
June 1, 2010 @ 11:41 pm
G’day Rod,
Not only do you sell good books, but you have also taken me on a magical memory tour! Deep down-under in the Blue Mountains, NSW, and here I am imagining my old haunt, Mablethorpe, as it looks now. As you know better than I, Mablethorpe is not very far from Cleethorpes.
Mine was the Mablethorpe of the 50’s as we moved to Aus in 1960, when there wasn’t a Maccas in sight. (Oh dear, I am showing my age, but I was quite young then : )
I’m so glad to see the donkeys are still in evidence, though - they were a special part of beach life in the summer, along with the Fun Fairs.
Thanks for the memories!
Sydney Lass
Rod said,
June 2, 2010 @ 6:38 am
Sydney Lass,
thanks for the comment and welcome to the site - hope you’ll keep coming back.
I’m not sure whether Mablethorpe or Cleethorpes can quite compete with New South Wales
Pleased you enjoyed the VIP service, the magical memory tours come free with every book
All the best
Rod