Bachelor Life ~ Easy Living or Hard Graft
Life for your, and my 
, favourite bachelor has been ticking away nicely (I know you worry), the ebb and flow of events generally favouring your host.
As it’s been a while I thought I may do a a list of what’s impressive and what’s depressive again.
A rough idea of the cards dealt to Goldeneye recently and how he’s played them
A Royal Flush
My New Camera
Enjoying this very much and getting some great results. Hoping for some better weather and I may also may start to do the infamous visitors guides again. Taking suggestions for new venues or indeed repeat visits to places such as York, Mablethorpe, Meggies , Louth and Horncastle
The New Goldeneye Golf Bat
Your host has once again taken to the driving range. The weekend saw the somewhat rash expenditure of hard earnt (earnt is not a real word btw) shekels on my very own bat, not a Porsche Putter but a Dunlop Driver. Sunday morning saw your host mingling with the great and the good who were all sporting Ping hats and dragging carts with loads of bats - presumably then proper golfists ! As before your host found the whole thing remarkably easy and I left the range 100 balls later with my head held high - as it’s usually in the clouds it’s hard to see how it could be held higher but it was - so there !
Bernard Cornwell
Having read literally 1000s of books I feel I am now qualified to debunk some literary myths.
Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, Shakespeare (especially bloody Shakespeare) et al are all crap!
Bernard Cornwell writes the only books worth reading so do yourself a favour and never buy another book unless:
1: It is written by Bernard Cornwell
2: It is offered for sale by that highly esteemed book dealer Goldeneye rare Books 
A Busted Flush
The Weather
Tedious to say the least. No sun worshipping in the name of that elusive all over tan or indeed naked gardening
Advanced Plastics of Scunthorpe
A leaflet made it through the stronghold and onto the door mat offering all kinds of PVC delights. Sadly for them their ideas of PVC and a good time appear to differ somewhat to mine - a waste of a full colour leaflet then ?
Well no … I did at least provide for some amusement.
They proudly proclaim in bold at the top
All Rotton Wood Removed :)
As if that wasn’t enough there was also the huge benefit that it would
Add Valuation to My Property
Nearly as bad as Sainsbury’s
Losing Ground in the El Barto Stakes
You’d be forgiven for thinking, in light of my usual crowing, that I’d have the Bart Simpson merchandising war all sewn up - nobody can out Bart me !
Well, you’d be wrong - I am being thrashed, in fact it’s only my Bart Simpson telephone that gives me any credibility at all - but I will be back with a counter offensive led by my vintage Bart Simpson Egg Cup !
We shall never surrender !
I was going to go on (when don’t you I hear you mutter) but it is getting rather long (oooer) so I’ll draw a veil over the proceedings.
Feel free to comment on the above or if you’ve anything to shout about
Regards
Rod
WoE said,
July 20, 2008 @ 7:55 pm
Rod,
favourite bachelor …. well almost (
), anyway on with the show …
Camera thing…. we’d be delighted to see you of course but please not the same old visitors guide. It’s time to spread your wings and go beyond the Transglobal Boot diaries. We need excitement, adventure and stories of exotic places
Golf thing … at last you’re hitting them rather than the other way around
We trust you dress accordingly… in fact that would make a good subject for your camera, Goldeneye, the Tiger of WW.
Naked gardening thing … thank goodness for tedious weather we hear the neighbours cry
Advanced Plastics thing … how could they know they had targeted such perfectly preserved soffits?
El Barto thing … are you drawing the line at Bart sandals? We hope not
As for the Witches, all is well and fragrant within the Coven curtilage …a subtle whiff of ripening figs mingled with the general headiness of new potions bubbling over the coals, is cause enough to rejoice
WoE
Little Brother said,
July 20, 2008 @ 10:08 pm
Rod,
Short and sweet! What about the kitchen garden? Golf and gardening rarely mix.
LB
Rod said,
July 21, 2008 @ 8:53 am
WoE
I may well stray into some more exotic locations, I am told the border country of Lincolnshire can be quite exciting
As to dressing for golf, the link in the original post shows roughly how I look !
Bart footwear is not available in size 11. They don’t make slippers that big, only Homer ones, which is, quite frankly, a scandal !
As is the fact the dressing gowns stop at boys size - bloody disgrace
Best
Rod
Rod said,
July 21, 2008 @ 8:56 am
LB
rest assured I am not taking up golf, merely enjoying out driving those that seem to be experts in the field
The kitchen garden remains as well tended ass ever, indeed I was out checking for slugs at gone 3am this morning - how many KGers could say that !
Cheers
Rod
Jordan said,
July 21, 2008 @ 12:37 pm
RC
Did you find a cure for the slug and caterpillar invasions?
Jordan
Rod said,
July 21, 2008 @ 12:47 pm
Jordan
sadly no cures other than my nocturnal efforts !
Had one small caterpillar attack on my cabbages but not as bad as last year, mainly due to the weather I suspect !
I’m pretty much on top of the slug situation, taken 100s out !
I’ve just picked a yellow variety courgette from the garden half an hour ago and had it for my lunch
Rod
WoE said,
July 21, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
Rod,
Is 3am prime time to catch garden pests or have you dispensed with sleep altogether these days? Presumably too cold for any naked gardening which must be a real drag. Still, you’d make a puckish form darting about in the moonlight we’ve no doubt
WoE
Rod said,
July 21, 2008 @ 1:19 pm
WoE
the early hours are without doubt the best time to go slugging.
You’re qiute right to assume it is quite a sight as well.
Imagine if you will, or dare, yours truly wearing Bart Simpson pyjamas with a miner’s head lamp searching out the dastardly pests in the iddle of the night
have you dispensed with sleep altogether these days?
I intend to be spending a lot more time in bed shortly the reasons for which will be made clearer in the next couple of days
Rod
Jordan said,
July 21, 2008 @ 1:46 pm
RC
“I intend to be spending a lot more time in bed shortly the reasons for which will be made clearer in the next couple of days”
WoE !!! Has he finally got a lady???? :wow:
Jordan
Witches of Eastwick said,
July 21, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
Rod,
We hardly dare imagine your night-time exploits but if you care to share them here, we’ll not let it go any further
WoE
Witches of Eastwick said,
July 21, 2008 @ 3:30 pm
Jordan,
Now we’ve been excited on his behalf before, let’s not get carried away for fear of disappointment
What else can he mean? … garden bed? …. time travel? 
WoE
Jordan said,
July 21, 2008 @ 3:54 pm
WoE
Noted how elusive from his postings that he is being also!
Probably out looking for BS slippers, blow up doll … Ad infinitum
Jordan
Rod said,
July 21, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
Jordan & WoE
all will be revealed in the fullness of time !
And Jordan, no I’m not talking about my raised beds in the KG either, though they are GR8 !
Cheers
Rod
Jordan said,
July 21, 2008 @ 4:17 pm
WoE
Refuse to feed him tomorrow until you get all the gossip, i won’t tell a soul.
Jordan
WoE said,
July 21, 2008 @ 5:59 pm
Jordan,
Are his little eccentricities getting more exaggerated do you think? If indeed there is a woman then she’s got to be a stalwart that’s for sure and we must lavish her with praise right from the start, poor thing
She’ll definitely have lots of lonely nights ahead of her while RC pursues his night-time antics in pot holing gear…. well the lamp anyway…. he’ll look like a sleep walking gynaecologist! Work must begin straight way on the knitted matrimonial bed throw…. mind you he might not let her in, she may never see it, after all it is a well known fact that few get past the threshold regardless of qualification 
WoE
Femme Fatale said,
July 22, 2008 @ 3:11 pm
WoE, Jordan,
Waiting impatiently for this one!
FF
xx
WoE said,
July 22, 2008 @ 8:11 pm
FF,
Waiting impatiently for this one … the nation holds its breath, millions of women hardly dare to hope. Which is all a bit of a shame really because the answer will probably include reading or headboard whittling or ingrown toenail… what’s the bet
WoE