Are Real Men a Dying Breed ?
Does the rise of the so called metrosexual man spell the end of what many would consider a real man ?
Is this what men and women really want in a modern society ?
I was struck by an interesting article and some survey results this weekend.
The survey asked questions of younger men and got the following results:
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85% of men are happy to cry in public
78% prefer housework to repairing the car etc
56% cannot change a tyre
42% are unable to put up a shelf
34% cannot wire a plug
You can have a debate as to what defines a real man and the qualities would be many and varied though all on a similar theme I suspect. For a more light-hearted view their tally of man points could be a starting point !
I personally believe young men today are ‘weaker’ than ever before. Unable to stand on their own two feet, deal with their own problems or the things that every day life in the real world throws at us.
It is a popular belief that younger women prefer men to be more in touch with their feminine side but questions asked of women in the same poll as above provided these answers:
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65% of women want a man to take control of a relationship
45% believe a real man would never admit to crying let alone do so in public
When you add to that 61% of younger may say they do not feel masculine a clear pattern is emerging. I was staggered to find out a while ago that teenage boys regularly hug each as an offer of support !
I wonder how much of this is due to boys being mollycoddled or overly mothered ?
With men in the UK now staying at home with their mothers until the average age of 30 it begs a reasonable question:
Can you be a real man when you are still being looked after by your mother ?
This phenomenon of modern times is both unnatural and worrying, not just my opinion but also that of the Italian Government who are so worried by the fact that so many young men will not let go of their mother’s apron strings and leave the nest they are actually offering government subsidies and grants to men to move out !
Incredible but true !
I don’t see this as a sexist issue, nor an attack on feminism before anyone starts, I just wonder where it leaves us all in the future if we end up with a nation of weak and overly emotional men who cannot even support themselves let alone a family and the less fortunate in society.
Can you be a real man if you have never left home ?
Is the strong silent type now a preserve of the over 50s ?
It was also interesting to read an article in The Times a while ago when eligible single women were complaining about the lack of suitable single men. They claimed that any free men worth having all fell into one of the following 3 categories:
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Confirmed bachelor unwilling to make any commitment
Gay
Still lives with his mother
I am aware that house prices are now making it more difficult but this phenomenon started before the crazy house prices.
I am also aware that people often stay at, or return, home to help their parents, this does them credit and is quite another matter.
Does a man need to be practical, mentally strong and dependable ?
I don’t believe he needs to be able to wire a new light fitting necessarily but I do believe he should be capable of supporting those around him and not going to pieces !
Somewhere to go in a time of crisis.
I’d be interested in views on the above either your opinions or comments on what I’ve said, am I talking out of my hat etc
Regards
Rod
AWTM said,
June 17, 2008 @ 6:51 pm
Rod
An interesting set of survey results.
Looking at the teenagers and young men that hang around my town appearing to have little to do but lots to shout about, it is easy to see where the survey results came from.
In a world where there is a huge amount of choice and opportunity for young people (not that they can see it) it beggers belief that young men are rapidly turning into no hopers.
I suggest any young woman that wants a real man should emigrate!
AWTM
Rod said,
June 17, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
AWTM
you touch on another important in your comment. Self-esteem, so many young people seem to have given up hope. Much of the blame can be laid at the parental door I believe but there is also an impression now prevalent in this country that is wholly negative.
For many young girls the best career option is pregnancy, I’m not being facetious either.
Young men appear to have little hope unless the are well above average academically.
All the skilled manual work has disappeared etc.
Young men need to get a grip and realise the whole world is out there waiting for them to get up and take it by the neck !
Either that or stay at home with mummy eating pizza and getting even fatter whilst playing computer games and watching moronic garbage on TV
Regards
Rod
WoE said,
June 17, 2008 @ 7:36 pm
Rod,
Since you ask, we’ll tell you what we think….
The Witches have to acknowledge that during their times of crisis, they have indeed received support from strong men… mostly father of course, the strongest and manliest of men. We will say however, that in more recent years the crisis management has shifted towards women. We hear tales of women coping with all kinds of difficult situations and counting on each other for support rather than relying on men.
On the DIY jobs front, no one beats a good man but when trouble comes calling, it’s invariably women who rise to the challenge. Could be an age thing of course…. younger women look to fathers and brothers. God forbid that women today should have to rely on the young men.. so we agree on that point….. things are looking bleak on the manliness front if the trend continues. Would National Service make a difference? We hate to admit it but it probably would.
The whole ‘men living with mother’ thing is a problem… we don’t know of a situation where this has actually worked in favour of both parties and the girlfriend. Perhaps if the house was large enough then it might work so long as there’s at least 400 yards between them!
The confirmed bachelor is a tough nut to crack so we would advise women not to bother …. unless they are confirmed spinsters, very attractive and financially sound in which case they’ll be sought after by lots of unconfirmed bachelors and every other man
Real/macho men then, are they still with us? Probably but disguised as footballers…
WoE
WoE said,
June 17, 2008 @ 7:43 pm
AWTM,
You sound like a man who knows his onions so to speak…. and where to find real men on foreign soil. Would you be kind enough to give specific details as some Coven members might be interested
WoE
Little Brother said,
June 17, 2008 @ 11:49 pm
Rod,
Free? Yes. Gay? No. Living with Mother? No. Bachelor unwilling to make a commitment? Well, if that’s all that’s left!! I might be crap at DIY but stick a spirit level on my backbone and you’ll find it’s level enough.
On a serious note you make some valid points, I work with young people and their attitude to work makes for a worrying future. When Mr. Collins would have told us to “get on with it and think yourself lucky you’ve got a job” now it’s all “He’s tired” Well, you know what? So am I. Men aren’t what they used to be, I saw a photo of some two-bit actor who had ’starred’ in a Brit film about football violence (enough said) with his arm around a work associate of mine, he looked a sack of s**t and I thought about the actors of the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s who would have been suitably attired, ready for any situation in the public domain. Not this lot.
That said, if you are a ‘man’s man’ then watch out, there’s a ‘claim’s direct’ lawsuit hanging on your every word out there now.
LB
Rod said,
June 18, 2008 @ 8:39 am
LB
Men aren’t what they used to be
You’ve summed the whole situation up in 7 words !
If you get too angry about the youth of today fear not, perhaps you could join them on an anger management course - they have them at school children now !
Failing that perhaps we just need stress councilling
I cannot imagine where the country will be when it has to rely on the coiming generations
Rod
Femme Fatale said,
June 18, 2008 @ 12:04 pm
Well said, all of you!
The so called MEN of this world, are, as you so rightly say, Wimps!
My father taught me everything I know about looking after myself, from wiring a plug, to checking the oil in my car and for that I will be eternally grateful
FF
xx
Rod said,
June 18, 2008 @ 4:12 pm
FF
good point and touches nicely on something I alluded to in the post, it’s not just a sexist thing. We all need certain practical skills whether male or female.
It’s OK relying on others to do simple jobs but what if you find yourself on your own.
Are you going to pay somebody £75 to put a simple light fitting up !
Pleased to hear you are not a damsel in distress !
Regards
Rod
Tom C. said,
January 27, 2010 @ 9:48 am
Interesting debate here Rod. It’s a tricky one as to what defines a man in the first place. Neither me or my fellow associates would be caught dead crying in public. (Although their is a possibility that, for some of them, it’s because they would spend a life time getting bullied about it.) But it’s odd, i recently ran into a big, broad skinhead (of about thirty years of age) in town who gave me the impression of how the national front must have appeared. He delivered a cunning remark about my generation; ‘with our straggly hair and our skinny jeans’. I couldn’t help give a smerk and walk away in silence. This is because deep in side (without trying to portray myself as an egotstical maniac) I know that me and the good people I’ve met at college will amount to twice the amount of man he could ever hope to achieve, despite our ’straggly hair.’ I DO NOT think that the strong silent type is dead, far from it.
-Tom
Rod said,
January 27, 2010 @ 6:26 pm
Tom,
great comment and you make a point that goes to the heart of the matter.
Being manly isn’t about being a 7 foot unshaven lumberjack !
The traits of a real man go much deeper, show me a guy who works really hard on a low wage but takes care of all his repsonsibilities, does only good things and gets on with life without complaining and I’ll show you a real man !
The article on man points whilst obviously being tongue-in-cheek also amkes some serious points in the comments etc.
I’m pleased to hear the strong silent type is not yet extinct Tom !
All the best
Rod