Amazing Recent Emails
Here are some of the emails received over the last couple of days.
They are all real and unedited, the only thing I have done is removed the person’s name on the rare occasion they bother to include it.
This one came in this afternoon
Hi, is your site about the great roddini serious?
I am currently organising peek-a-boo, a ticketed burlesque cabaret night on sunday 17th of December at Baileys Bar in Grimsby.We are looking for a local magician, preferably one who doesnt take himself too seriously, we even have a gorgeous assistant (currently on the front page of fetish magazine ‘unscene’) if you need one!
If you want to see what we are all about then take a look at our site at ……
ebay Question for Seller
is this book generally worth that amount of money?
The only reason i am asking is that i happened to spot the same exact book, complete with cover in a charity shop for a couple of quid!
Was it worth me buying?
From Plenty of Fish online dating - please spare me
Redaneleye
Don’t be alone this christmas
Here are the latest matches in your area
Ebay again for a £400 book offered at £250
You are obvousley (sic) stuck with this book, it has not sold for months. I will pay £75 including delivery
Response to a webpage asking for rare 1st edition Leslie Charteris books
I have a paperback copy of The Saint’s Getaway on ebay, here is the auction if you are interested …..
This is an entire email
How much are Beano annuals worth
One via this site
What color socks should I wear with a grey suit
Via Bookseller World
If I send you some details will you write an article on your website about my bookshop and link to our ebay store
About this site
I think your site is s**t
I look first thing every morning and love it, please keep writing
What about some male pornstars for us girls?
Lets have some naked or at least shirtless pictures of you in your gallery
Make your posts shorter they are too long winded and take too long to read
Why don’t you do the rip off ebay auctions anymore
etc etc etc
Bacon Snatcher said,
November 21, 2006 @ 3:46 pm
Rod,
Well batted sir!
Off to SC’s house for more tips on how to bring home the bacon!!!
Rod said,
November 21, 2006 @ 3:54 pm
Pork Purloiner !
your nefarious deeds will not go unpunished!
Watch your back and keep one eye open at night
Regards
Rod
Jordan said,
November 21, 2006 @ 3:54 pm
The brains of some people are to be amazed! Or should i say the lack of them?!!
Hope WoE looked after you today
Rod said,
November 21, 2006 @ 4:07 pm
Jordan
I should be used to it by now but I still cannot believe some of them.
I mean The Great Rodini, 3 people have now tried to book me, how can anyone read that and take it seriously?
Mind you according to a Google search for Lincolnshire’s Greatest Magican or Grimsby Magician etc etc I have ensured I am #1 result so perhaps I bring it on myself
The Witches did indeed look after me, they are one of the few reliable constants in life. Lovely food and quality conversation/analysis
Regards
Rod
Jordan said,
November 21, 2006 @ 4:38 pm
They are Illiterate, ignoramus, imbeciles, who should never have been allowed to leave school, let alone drive cars, operate machinery, but I guess most work for the government or are unemployed anyhow!
Glad to hear WoE looked after you. LB/OMITK may have competition in the retirement home galley!
Rod said,
November 21, 2006 @ 5:01 pm
Jordan,
absolutely ! I think many of these people also find their way into the teaching profession as well.
It’s no wonder the country is going down hill. Imagine if we had had to rely on these people in 1939!
OMITK may have to retire from cooking shortly anyway, he has at least 2,500 xmas dinners to cook in the next few weeks, plus all the usual covers as well.
Rather him than me.
Best
Rod
Witches of Eastwick said,
November 21, 2006 @ 8:08 pm
Rod, best avoid Baileys Bar on 17th, thong or no thong, your rubber band trick is wearing a bit thin and as you’re a one trick pony they’ll be trouble. How kind of people to enquire as to colour of sock, wonder if they would still ask if they’d seen the canary yellow jumper you wore today, a ray of sunshine you looked too, especially to old witches like us. We do believe you get more handsome/vivid as the weeks roll by. Can we expect the DC suited version at some time in the future …. it’s just that we must be sure to take our high blood pressure preventative medication well in advance. WoE
Little Brother said,
November 21, 2006 @ 10:53 pm
Rod,
Pass the sick bag! all these compliments for such an undeserving soul.
Have you shown the witches your famous great white elephant trick? I am sure that would go down a treat around the coffee table! You could stir the sugar!!!
Pigsy said,
November 21, 2006 @ 11:05 pm
Rodent,
Word in the abbatoir says that you were hung, drawn and quatered by the legend that is the bacon snatcher last sunday. Tread carefully, my friend as we servants of the swine are many and any more of your pork skullduggery will see you dangling from the dock tower by your andouillettes!!
Witches of Eastwick said,
November 22, 2006 @ 8:57 am
LB, your brother is always quiet and refined on Tuesdays. For some reason he likes to sit closer and closer to the fire escapes, think the Witches must frighten him a bit …. hard to believe we know. Unfortunately for him, our hostess grows her own mistletoe and a splendid harvest is expected this year to adorn the book shop ceiling ……. a lamb to the slaughter!
WoE
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 9:12 am
LB
it must be grating for you that I am so popular, especially as you are like that Gordon Ramsay fella off the tele and therefore unpopular!
The white eared elephant is not a trick to perform in civilized company, nor indeed in this current weather!
I may save it till summer
Cheers
Rod
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 9:15 am
WoE
I shall avoid Bailey’s Bar like the plague, though just to correct you I do know 3 tricks and now perform the rubber band trick with a ladies red thong!
This could be what attracted this particular crowd to my act!
I would be reluctant to go out fully ‘Bonded Up’ during the hours of daylight. It could cause far too many problems for me on the female front!
Thanks for a great day
Regards
Rod
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 9:22 am
Ahhhhh Pigsy!
the rumours are true! I was done up like a kipper!
I shall be having an organic oak smoked bacon sandwich shortly, but it is of little comfort in the cold light of the day.
I have spoken to Sandy and Tripitaka about your behaviour, they seemed disinterested, suggesting it was typical of your gluttonous modus vivendi.
You may need to watch your intake of fatty bacon as it could lead to you being a stone over your ideal weight !
Regards
Monkey
Jordan said,
November 22, 2006 @ 10:13 am
What on earth are you all on about???
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 10:31 am
Jordan,
picture the scene:
A pleasant Sunday lunch type situation, harmony and goodwill abound.
The repast was superb, as you could well imagine, fabulous homemade stuffing with bacon on the top. Also a remarkable jus de poulet which also contained copious rashers of Petitt’s finest smoked bacon.
Enough for veryone you might imagine, we could all return whence we came fully sated on swine. But no ………
Enter stage left the villain of the piece, now and forever more known as The Bacon Snatcher!
He proceeded to hoover up all the pork based offerings with great relish leaving the rest of us high and dry on the hog front.
Also note, leaving me to dry the dishes whilst he raced down the A46
A dastardly deed I am sure you’ll agree.
I am hoping for an outbreak of swine fever in the family
Regards
Rod (off shopping now)
Jordan said,
November 22, 2006 @ 1:08 pm
A dastardly deed indeed!
How you let the ‘Pigsy, Bacon Snatcher’ get away with it, is my question?!
Far to much leniency I believe. I’m sure you can think of a few torturous outcomes for him. If you need any help in torturous methods, I am sure I can enlighten you of a few that I have conjured in my mind to use on the opposite sex. Or ask WoE to conjure up a potion or spell or two to have him begging for redemption, thus making sure your bacon will be safe in the future.
Jordan
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 1:27 pm
Jordan
many thanks for your empathy. I was indeed caught napping, there is no real excuse.
Generally i have the run of the place on Sunday but when The Bacon Snatcher turns up he is number 1 and gets preferential treatment.
I think perhaps your revenge ideas may be a little severe, I should certainly not want to be on the receiving end of them.
That said, having seen Casino Royale, a chair with the seat cut out and a length of knotted rope springs to mind.
I may ask the witches to turn him into a toad, or better still a pig , how fitting!
Regards
Rod
Witches of Eastwick said,
November 22, 2006 @ 4:56 pm
Don’t be a ‘boar’ Rod, he’s only a little brother and you are lucky to have one. No doubt he was only thinking of your new found temple of a body and decided to take temptation away before it ruined the weeks work.
LB we fear you may be in need of a false passport and some of our patented iron clad pants. If BB offers you a seatless chair …. check to see if any curtain tie-backs are missing before you accept! WoE
Pigsy said,
November 22, 2006 @ 5:12 pm
Ah Monkey! (swishing hand across mouth followed by a triple backflip thirty feet in the air)
Usually I don’t dig on swine, brother but your feeble attempts to do me out of my share in the first place resulted in your beating.
I note you do not mention stabbing me in the arm with your fork, hitting me on the elbow with a spoon or smearing bread sauce on my glasses….ladies, don’t fall for it-he’s a brute.
I shall refrain from mentioning your pitifull attempt to swindle me out of the charity christmas cards.
Sir, you are a cad!
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 6:24 pm
Woe,
he’s shown his true colours, the swine!
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 6:26 pm
Sir, you are a cad!
Nominate a second and it’s pistols at dawn you bounder!
Pigsy said,
November 22, 2006 @ 6:49 pm
I nominate SC-purveyor of all things bacon!
He who wins gets the hot tub and nibbles with Witches,Jordan and TC, with silver served bacon sarnies, pork kebabs and pork scratchings by monsieur chapman of Le eau de toilette.
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 7:03 pm
Pigsy,
there are two problems with your idea.
1: When bacon is involved, SC is likely to hammer the pair of us simultaneously with one hand whilst eating our bacon with the other.
2: You’ll need a great deal more than a diet rich in bacon to consider stepping into a hot tub with WoE, Jordan and Thonged Chick - you’d never make it out alive!
Though I do admire your confidence in even floating (pun intended) the idea
You’re a better man than I Gunga Din!
Pigsy said,
November 22, 2006 @ 7:12 pm
Rod,
It would be a hell of a way to die!
Rod said,
November 22, 2006 @ 7:34 pm
Certainly better than being crushed by 2,500 turkey breasts !
Slainte
Rod