A Day of Mixed Fortunes
Yesterday saw Goldeneye on something of a financial rollercoaster!
The day started well, checking one of my US accounts I saw I had been wired a fist full of yankee dollars - excellent (drumming fingertips together)
Then a setback, the post arrives, Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (shudder)
3 months National Insurance due now - rats !
Off to the Post Office and paid immediately. Desperately seeking something to raise morale I had a bright idea - go to the bank, draw some of your converted $ funds and pay it into a building society savings account - one of my favourite hobbies.
Deciding to sprinkle some in various places I skipped merrily to the first venue.
I’d like to pay this in please
Certainly Mr Collins
(chit chat follows)
I’ve made your book up, your interest is due
Woo Hoo
Clutching my book in my hot little hands I left ecstatic - then disaster! Looking at how much interest I had earned this month I see - Interest Earned £x but what’s the next line
Tax Deducted £x - I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably in the high street 
With everyone having their hand in my pocket, I wandered about my business, all but a defeated man. Back at the ranch, a restorative cup of tea and a smoke, once the backbone of British stoicism, helped but not enough.
The only way out of this depression was to recoup my losses!
An old saying for married couples is Never go to bed on an argument
Well, an old Goldeneye saying is Never go to bed when you’re financially down on the day !
Then I remember something LB put me onto the other day 
I phoned the water company and reduced my annual cost of water by half !
Living on my own qualifies me for a reduced rate, not that they tell you of course, and what’s more back-dated.
Bingo !
I can settle down for the night, drink and smoke knowing all is well within the insular Goldeneye World
Rod said,
January 18, 2007 @ 1:10 pm
Today saw proof, if proof were needed, that the idiom Fortune Favours the Brave rings true - I just won £10 !
Looks like meat for dinner.
PS. I’m rather ashamed to admit that the exact phrase in Latin for the above had escaped me, a symptom of the comprehensive education system no doubt.
In the spirit of honesty that pervades this site - I confess to having looked it up, so for the legion of Latin devotees, and those wishing to improve themselves:
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Little Brother said,
January 18, 2007 @ 3:58 pm
Rod,
Glad to be of help, do I get a share of the profits?
LB
Rod said,
January 18, 2007 @ 4:04 pm
LB
I’ll gladly share the the saving - would you like me to send you a cheque when i invoice you for GFS webmaster services ?
Rod
Little Brother said,
January 18, 2007 @ 4:10 pm
Rod,
Er..mushroom stroganoff anyone?
Enjoy your rewards-you’ve earned it!!!
Your humble servant in eternal gratitude etc, etc.
LB
Rod said,
January 18, 2007 @ 4:29 pm
LB
Er..mushroom stroganoff anyone
How could I forget - what an ingrate. See below for an idea of my billing policies - let me know if you want to change your tariff
transcript of a conversation
Mr X. “How much would you charge to spend the day on my website, it looks great but shows nowhere.”
Me. For SEO I charge £500 per day, plus expenses if I have to leave my house
Mr X. OK, I’ll pay that, will a day sort it
Me. Yes
Another conversation:
Mr Y. I’m on the 2nd page of Google for my business name, can you get me on the 1st page?
Me after looking at the site. I think I can get you to #1 !
Mr Y. How much will it cost ?
Me. I charge £500 per day
Mr Y. Errr…. will it take a whole day ?
Me. No half a day
Mr Y. OK how do you want paying
Me. I don’t, the sun’s shining and I can’t be arsed to do it
Little Brother said,
January 18, 2007 @ 4:42 pm
Rod,
Is payment in Thai baht okay?
let me know,
LB
Rod said,
January 18, 2007 @ 4:51 pm
Last month’s GQ and something out of date from Waitrose will do !
To All
If you wish to improve your day, log on to Virgin Classic Rock
Just listened to
It’s a Long Way to the Top - AC/DC - followed by
Easy Livin’ - Uriah Heep
Could be my song
This is a thing I have
Never known before
Its called easy livin
Awesome \m/
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 18, 2007 @ 5:23 pm
Rod,
Are the good people who view this site interested in your web site development earnings? Our guess is not really ……. where’s the piccy of you getting out of the shower? Obviously the Witches are only interested in your idiosyncratic comments on life and domestic achievements.
A quick show of hands at the Coven indicates a preference for the inclusion of a towel. We do hope your fittings are Villeroy & Boch standard!
WoE
Rod said,
January 18, 2007 @ 6:32 pm
WoE
Are the good people who view this site interested in your web site development earnings?
Some are, people ask for more of this SEO stuff, I get more requests for it than any other subject that comes up, it was to poke one in LB’s eye anyway.
I don’t really do it for other people now anyway - too much hassle and it’s not nearly as much as it may seem - some guys charge that an hour !
You also would not get 5 hours work from a 20 year car mechanic at a main dealer for that
where’s the piccy of you getting out of the shower?
Don’t you start as well, if I get one I’ll post it, towel will be in place for both decency and good taste (yes I have some good taste, just not much)
As to the fittings - Wickes I am afraid to report
Best
Rod
Little Witchlet said,
January 19, 2007 @ 12:19 am
You had to mention tax, didn’t you! 13 days left to get the tax return in. Someone remind me to do it in May this year!
Rod said,
January 19, 2007 @ 9:03 am
LW
self employed ?
It’s a different world and one salaried people will never fully understand unless they have done it.
Best
Rod
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 19, 2007 @ 9:09 am
Rod,
We had you down as a Czech & Speake man ………. must say your Wickes fittings have shot right to the top of this week’s agenda, closely followed by Witchlet’s Coven accountancy slip-up. Personally I shall lose more sleep over the former!
WoE - Kohler Fittings
Rod said,
January 19, 2007 @ 9:18 am
WoE
perhaps I should do more in the way of home improvements.
I decided about 5 years ago on a plan of action. I would do nothing to the house but keep it very clean. Then eventually, as it decayed, in years to come I would have the whole thing knocked down and rebuilt.
This may seem extreme but rather than always be doing something or other, get it all over in 2 straight months and I’ll be dead by the time another job needs doing!
Best
Rod (the bright ideas man)
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 19, 2007 @ 5:36 pm
Rod,
Not one of your best plans but radical all the same ….. in fact we have drawn up a solution to fit the client …. a Huf Haus. It’s a German flat pack approach and very individual, also very expensive but we feel it says ROD COLLINS, BACHELOR ENTREPRENEUR all over it. Make sure you take a look at the company on line …. in Grimsby it would be a chick magnet so get saving.
Plan B, much less attractive but practical, is the refurbishing of your present dwelling so that it reflects your personality. Knowing that you might struggle with this concept we must throw this open to the public to vote on what type of property best represents everything about you. The Witches have voted for the Huf; cool, contempory linear Germanic lines, stylish, uncompromising.
WoE
p.s. a well travelled man of our acquaintance says the two months build time is laughable unless you’re whittling your own treehouse!
Rod said,
January 19, 2007 @ 6:36 pm
WoE
all of my plans are radical, it’s a recurring theme, as is the lack of practicality.
As houses are relatively cheap to build, when you own the land etc, I thought the savings made by avoiding any maintenance or improvements over the years, plus time saved made it financially viable.
The right builders could easily rebuild in a month or so, footings are already down etc - easy
I have heard of the Huf Haus but it’s not really me, especially if it dents the Goldeneye coffers.
I do like clean minimalist designs but could not actually live comfortably in such an environ.
I was in a house (as a lunch guest) recently that would suit me very nicely, lovely place. Sadly though, well beyond my humble means I am afraid, one can merely dream and satisfy oneself with one’s lot
Regards
Rod
PS If I was starting from scratch and relying on selling books for a living I’d be living in a tent
Little Brother said,
January 19, 2007 @ 9:57 pm
WoE,
A dwelling to reflect Rod’s personality? For some reason I am reminded of driving past the shanty towns in South Africa; tin sheets, squalor and lots of cheap red wine.
LB (on short vaccation)
Little Witchlet said,
January 19, 2007 @ 11:57 pm
WoE
2 months build time - if only - 2 yrs on!! Perhaps it would have been quicker to knock it down and start again!
Rod
“I would do nothing but keep the house very clean” - sends shivers through and through…. guess that means tidy too………..are you a bored housewife by any chance………..who else would set such a goal?!
Truly admirable - seriously!
Little Witchlet
PS. Mixed feelings - elation at completing tax return, p****d off at having to pay!
Rod said,
January 20, 2007 @ 9:20 am
LW
I do keep the house very clean, the bathroom is cleaned and disinfected every day as is the kitchen etc. I bought the house when I was young and lived on my own, always did the same.
I shared the duties when I was married and had to keep a keen eye on things to ensure cleanliness abounded
Possibly it is a subconscious thing, people expect beer cans and pizza boxes to be lying everywhere, so I ensure the opposite, I don’t know.
Standards are very important to me and I can also see how easy it would be to let them slip.
Regards
Rod - The Marigold Kid
Little Brother said,
January 20, 2007 @ 9:47 am
Rod,
Damm straight! There’s no dust in my house.
Beer bottles go straight in the recycle bin like any self-respecting bachelor should do.
‘Clean in thought, word and deed’-that’s us!
LB
Rod said,
January 20, 2007 @ 9:56 am
‘Clean in thought, word and deed’-that’s us!
Amen to that brother!
I also Sleep the Sleep of the Righteous
Little Witchlet said,
January 20, 2007 @ 11:13 am
Rod/LB
I am in awe.
A nice little quote for you: “Work hard, but not too hard. Be good, but not too good!”
Swamped working mother/wife/daughter signing off!
Little Witchlet
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 20, 2007 @ 12:33 pm
Little Witchlet,
There’s no chance of them being ‘too good’, we’re sure there’s more to this lifestyle than they’re admitting.
Quite honestly the boys, on paper, seem to have very high standards. Presumably any prospective girlfri, girlfrie ……. female acquaintances would find it difficult to compete on the cleaning front (with the possible exception of one …. are you thinking what I’m thinking?!). We’ll ask LB when’s the best time to pop in for coffee then we’ll riffle through his kitchen drawers to see if he’s got better gadgets than us ……. we’ll be able to size up what type of hot chick he needs. No point flying in for coffee at Rod’s, he doesn’t take kindly to callers-in and anyway we suspect his drawers aren’t worth riffling through ….. plus he’s always very guarded about Goldeneye assets!
WoE - hard working socialite
Little Brother said,
January 20, 2007 @ 12:50 pm
WoE,
There are no gadgets in my kitchen drawers, they’re a waste of time. Save the money and buy a decent knife instead. If I come and pay you a visit and find you have one of those crappy Wilko’s £2.99′ers that ‘can cut through tractor tyres and the legs of an oil rig whilst keeping its razor sharpe edge for a thousand years’ then I’ll fire you on the spot. Be warned witches, the Collins boys have standards.
LB
Rod said,
January 20, 2007 @ 1:20 pm
LW
as we’re trading synonyms, another of my oft quoted favourites
My strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure
Regards
Pious Rod
Rod said,
January 20, 2007 @ 1:42 pm
WoE
we’re sure there’s more to this lifestyle than they’re admitting
As to domestic hygiene and general tidiness in regard of, as you marvellously say “girlfri, girlfrie ……. female acquaintances”, I remember havng a female visitor one evening who knocked a glass of cognac over, then 20 minutes later an ashtray - needless to say it was her last visit.
plus he’s always very guarded about Goldeneye assets!
Any assets are probably less than you might imagine, sadly
Rod - Slacker
Witches of Eastwick said,
January 21, 2007 @ 11:14 am
LB,
We fear nothing from a visiting head chef, so beguiling are the witches and their artefacts that you may never know if it was Ethiopian Mocha or organic Colombian.
WoE